OPINION:
Dear Dr. E, My wife and I are young parents. We have two children, a boy and a girl, who are both under 10 years of age. Do you have any parenting advice for those of us who want to raise our kids to be responsible, moral human beings in a world that’s gone mad? — DESIRING TO BE A GOOD DAD FROM DETROIT
Dear Detroit Dad: I’m sure you’re aware of President John F. Kennedy’s iconic quote, “Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.” The wisdom of these words rings as true today as ever, and the sentiment behind them never wears thin. In the days ahead, remember the lessons behind these words and teach them to your son and daughter every chance you get.
Teach them to focus on what they can give to the world rather than what the world should give them. To paraphrase President Kennedy, teach them to “ask not about what others can do for them, but to ask what they can do for others.” In other words, teach your children that others don’t owe them but that they owe others.
Teach your daughter that she owes her country; her country doesn’t owe her. Teach your son that he owes his parents; his parents don’t owe him. This list could go on and on. Teach both of your kids that life is about giving, not getting. Teach them that getting never satisfies and not to waste their time and money on themselves. Teach them to give!
Help your son and daughter understand the importance of discipline. Teach them that they will never get on the field or the court if they don’t go to practice, memorize the plays, pay attention to the coach, learn the rules of the game, and do what they’re told. Real athletes do their jobs, even when they don’t like it. That’s why they get playing time. Whether on the court or in the classroom, teach your children to discipline themselves if they want to win.
Show your children the importance of taking care of what they have rather than constantly worrying about what they don’t. Tell them to worry about their own stuff rather than coveting the stuff of others. Don’t let them buy the lie about it all being about the 1%. Teach them that at the end of the day, success or failure is about them and no one else. Don’t let your children blame others.
Teach them that it’s not about intersectionality, it’s not about critical race theory, and it’s not about someone else’s privilege. Tell them they will never change anything by looking out the window, but rather, if they want to change the world, they need to look in the mirror. Revival never starts by focusing on everyone else. It always begins with you.
Let them know that, above all things, choices matter. Choice is the core of what it means to be human. Choice is what distinguishes them from an animal. Choice is the contrast between being the imago Dei (the image of God) or the imago dog. Choice is the difference between freedom and bondage. Teach your kids that mature, thinking human beings make choices between good and evil, freedom and slavery, and innocence and corruption. Being human means they can choose. Their choices matter.
Teach them to stop talking and listen. Let them know they don’t have all the answers and that those who are a bit older than them are often a lot wiser. Don’t let them buy into the chronological snobbery. The old ideas are often the best ideas. They have stood the test of time for a reason. Grandma and Grandpa might actually know something. Listen!
Instruct your son and daughter to test everything. Lazy people accept what is popular. They go with the flow and celebrate the fad. Leaders, on the other hand, question everything. Is it true? Is it false? Your children need to understand they are rational, thinking human beings. They need to use their brain. Teach them to hold emotionally laden arguments at arm’s length, to do their homework, and find the facts. Laziness and emotion are deadly bedfellows.
Finally, make sure your kids learn to take responsibility. Life is their problem and no one else’s. One of the greatest gifts God gives us is the gift of responsibility. It is the gift of freedom. It is the gift of service over selfishness. It is the gift of rationality over emotion and facts over feelings. It is the gift of adulthood over adolescence.
If you want your son and daughter to grow up to be sane adults in a world that’s gone mad, teach them these lessons, and you won’t be disappointed.
If you are seeking guidance in today’s changing world, Higher Ground is there for you. Everett Piper, a Ph.D. and a former university president and radio host, takes your questions in his weekly ’Ask Dr. E’ column. If you have moral or ethical questions for which you’d like an answer, please email askeverett@washingtontimes.com and he may include it in a future column.
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