OPINION:
Dear Dr. E: While I won’t go into all the details, I am dreading the upcoming holiday season because of some major issues in my family. With all the political tension going on in our culture, there is a lot of anger on all sides. Many things have been said that shouldn’t have been over the years. Do you have any advice on how to get beyond this? — SINCERELY STRUGGLING FROM SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
Dear Struggling:
I’d like to tell you a story.
On Oct. 2, 2019, Brandt Jean sat in a Texas courtroom. The trial of Amber Guyger, an off-duty police officer who had shot and killed Brandt’s older brother, Botham, was over. Ms. Guyger had just been found guilty and stood before the judge awaiting sentencing. The judge asked Brandt if he wanted to make a statement.
In one of the most moving moments I can think of in recent memory, Brandt stood up calmly and looked straight into the eyes of the woman who was just convicted of murdering his brother. “I wasn’t ever going to say this in front of my family or anyone,” he said, “but I don’t even want you to go to jail. I want the best for you because I know that’s exactly what Botham would want. And the best would be to give your life to Christ. I’m not going to say anything else. I think giving your life to Christ would be the best thing that Botham would want you to do. I love you as a person, and I don’t wish anything bad on you.”
Everyone expected condemnation and anger. Everyone expected a demand for justice. This woman had murdered his older brother, after all, and surely, Brandt had every right to demand she spend the rest of her life rotting in jail. But instead of revenge, Brandt chose to forgive.
There’s more to the story, however.
In stark contrast to Brandt’s humble heart, there was anger and resentment waiting on the steps just outside the courtroom. Chants of “No justice, no peace” rang out. A pastor leading the protest even shouted, “It’s amazing how quickly injustice can be seized from the hands of justice. This is a travesty.”
Brandt Jean clearly understood something this pastor did not. He refused to let his brother’s story be one of recompense and payback. Brandt decided Botham’s story would not be about demanding justice but rather granting grace.
Brandt Jean’s peaceful resignation stood in stark contrast to the angry cries of this unforgiving pastor. What a juxtaposition of worldviews. A young man chose to forgive and changed everything for the good, while a preacher demanded justice and changed nothing, not even himself.
We don’t have to let others control us. We do not have to be held in bondage to their sins or even the sins we find in ourselves. We can forgive. We can be saved — saved from anger, saved from vengeance, saved from self-righteousness, saved from ourselves.
Martin Luther famously said, “For still our ancient foe, doth seek to work us woe; His craft and power are great, and armed with cruel hate, on earth is not his equal.”
John Newton cried, “There are two things I know: I am a great sinner, and Jesus is a great savior…. Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me.”
The cycle of “cruel hate” is broken only by Grace: God’s toward you and yours toward others. And grace is made real only through the act of forgiveness.
On that October afternoon, Brandt Jean’s example rang throughout the halls of justice, not just in the courts of Texas but throughout all eternity. Brandt didn’t just change himself; he changed heaven. He followed Christ’s example of forgiveness, and the earth shook, and the angels sang.
You can be a slave to your anger, or you can be set free by forgiving others as Christ forgives you. You can be someone who is consumed by a desire for vengeance, or you can choose to do what Brandt did, forgive, and turn the other cheek. You can be like the pastor and demand justice, or you can follow the example of a teenage boy who showed more maturity than this preacher and all the protesters combined.
Only forgiveness will break the chains that bind you.
The choice is yours.
If you are seeking guidance in today’s changing world, Higher Ground is there for you. Everett Piper, a Ph.D. and a former university president and radio host, takes your questions in his weekly ’Ask Dr. E’ column. If you have moral or ethical questions for which you’d like an answer, please email askeverett@washingtontimes.com and he may include it in a future column.
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