What God taught me about community as a traveling baseball wife

OPINION:

I didn’t choose this lifestyle. I was thrown into it when my husband took a job in professional baseball 37 years ago. It took time to acclimate, but I’ve learned to embrace the experiences and live life to the fullest with each new season.

Over the seasons of professional baseball, we’ve lived in over 15 different cities and towns in the U.S., Venezuela, and the Dominican Republic.

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Each season, when I believe I have all the dynamics of connection and communicating under control, God throws me a curveball.

Relationship obstacles started early in our baseball career. Dragging baggage from the experiences of previously failed friendships didn’t help. I had to learn to discern the different relationships and nurture each.

David stepped into his dream of being a professional baseball coach from college ball. I was launched into a new and intriguing life with the possibility of new friends in a new place.

Entering our first spring training, I had high hopes and an open mind. I was probably a bit naïve about how things worked in baseball, but I was excited to find my people.

Connecting with others was more complicated than I imagined. My exuberant, youthful personality annoyed some seasoned wives, while others found me refreshing.

“The adults are talking,” a fellow baseball wife responded when I tried to include myself in a conversation. The other wives in the group were baseball veterans, so I, the rookie, was an easy target. They giggled and stared.

I thought we were in this baseball thing together as wives. I’d hoped we’d all be friends. The interaction ripped out my heart. I retreated to a corner alone, wanting nothing to do with this “family.”

A few weeks later, a fellow baseball wife, Renette, invited us to their home. As we were leaving, she gathered her family and prayed over us.

She leaned where God called and took a risk to pray for an unbelieving young girl and her husband at the beginning of what was to be a long baseball career. I learned the quality of inclusion from Renette.

What if she hadn’t reached out? What if she hadn’t taken a risk with a naïve, exuberant young baseball wife who was going about relationships all wrong?

Inclusion is going above and beyond to build connections with people we may never choose. Loving those God places in front of us wherever He puts us is uncomfortable.

When Jesus taught us to love one another, He didn’t tell us to love those five people standing near us who look like us. He called us to love the others who don’t speak like us, act like us, believe like us, or vote like us.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35

He didn’t give us a choice of whom to love. He commanded that we love one another so that they would know we are His disciples.

Being an example of love and loving one another is the foundation for developing relationships wherever God has placed us — and with those He puts in front of us. All the experiences, positive and negative, challenge me.

When we include those who aren’t like us we provide equal access to opportunities for those who may be excluded. Inclusive love is going above and beyond to build connections with people we may never choose.

A fellow baseball wife described me as one who always looks for the left out and goes and gets them. I liked that compliment. I never want to leave someone out of connecting and being kind and considerate.

My personality draws me to those who feel like they are on the outside, and God pushes me to when I’m most uncomfortable.

Sometimes, it doesn’t feel good when we are called to love others. And at all times, we are to hold firm to our values while loving the unlovable.

God is our source of strength. He loved us enough to sacrifice His Son for the forgiveness of our sins. John says God is love, not that love is God.

We can enter relationships with intentionality, a determination to do what God wants us to do within those moments, months, or years.

I may not have chosen this baseball lifestyle or the people God has placed in front of me, but what freedom to know I am right where He desires me to be: loving others so that they know I am His disciple.

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Billie Jauss is an international speaker, author, and podcast host with over 35 years of experience navigating life as the wife of an MLB coach. She is the author of multiple books, including her latest “Baseball Family: Nine Core Qualities for Developing Healthy Relationships.”