- The Washington Times - Thursday, May 2, 2024

Zoom classes from home as the COVID-19 pandemic got underway were the first big moment when parents across America got a glimpse of the toxic trash schools are teaching their children. Teachers were pushing creepy sex talk, racial hatred, insane politics and “gender ideology” — whatever that is — in every course from biology to algebra.

President Biden’s pro-Hamas riots on university campuses the past couple of weeks are the second big glimpse into just how rotten American education has become. Visceral antisemitism, blind ignorance of history and raw emotionalism about basic geography have infected every corner of higher education.

The protest song for these student clowns should be Sam Cooke’s “Wonderful World” — serenaded to Hamas terrorists who are still holding Israeli hostages.

Don’t know much about history

Don’t know much biology

Don’t know much about a science book

Don’t know much about the French I took

But I do know that I love you

And I know that if you love me, too

What a wonderful world this would be

Also, Mr. Biden could make it his official campaign song, directed at the Jew-hating bigot voters in Michigan and Wisconsin he is still desperately courting for the election in November.

Don’t know much geography

Don’t know much trigonometry

Don’t know much about algebra …

Actually, there isn’t enough space on the internet to catalog the tonnage of stupidity weighing down these university losers. They are so dumb they are still wearing their obedience masks — outdoors!

College is the place where students are supposed to learn to question authority. Yet for these sad waifs, it is where they go to conform and obey and flex their fake virtue. And naked antisemitism.

Certainly, some of these children are probably just in it for the mayhem and to get out of class — and those are honorable pursuits. But they are being co-opted as useful idiots by an evil regime aimed at erasing Israel from the map and handing the Middle East over to anti-American terrorists.

I mean, seriously, where did these silly children get all those tents? Like any of them would last 10 minutes in the actual wilderness.

And where did they get all that plywood to erect a giant wall around UCLA? Do these little weaklings even know how to push a lumber cart in a Home Depot?

No, Home Depot is where the taxpayers Mr. Biden is forcing to pay all these tuition bills shop.

As always, in times of moral confusion on college campuses, we must turn to the great philosopher Bluto from “Animal House” after Dean Wormer “dropped the big one” by shutting down the Delta Tau Chi fraternity.

“Over? Did you say ‘over’?” Bluto sneered at the weak compliance of his brothers. “Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell, no!”

After a brief false start, Bluto persisted.

“What the [heck] happened to the Delta I used to know?” he demanded. “Where’s the spirit? Where’s the guts, huh? This could be the greatest night of our lives, but you’re gonna let it be the worst?”

And from that moment of great vision, clarity and patriotism, Bluto launched Delta Tau Chi into history.

Down at the University of North Carolina, the Pi Kappa Phi fraternity picked up that torch of freedom lit by Bluto and protected the American flag one night this week from rioting Hamas supporters on their campus. When the sun rose, our flag was still there.

A GoFundMe page was set up for the valiant college warriors who refused to surrender to evil.

“Commie losers across the country have invaded college campuses to make dumb demands of weak University Administrators,” the GoFundMe page says.

“But amidst the chaos, the screaming, the anti-semitism, the hatred of faith and flag, stood a platoon of American heroes. Armored in Vineyard Vines and Patagonia, fueled by Zyn and White Claws, these triumphant Brohemians protected Old Glory from the unwashed Marxist horde — laughing at their shrieks and wails and shielding Stars & Stripes from Soviet missiles.”

Originally, the fundraiser was to pay for the biggest keg party this boat-shoed broletariat had ever thrown — but they accidentally raised too much money. At last count, they had raised over $400,000.

Even Bluto can’t drink that much beer. So they are giving the rest to charity.

Finally, the cavalry has arrived. Boys, your time is now. Never back down!

• Charles Hurt is the opinion editor at The Washington Times.

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