OPINION:
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Sblood! Zounds!
Once again, the political press has spilled their bloody entrails over the Shakespearean language former President Donald Trump uses to vividly describe the dramatic doom that will befall America if President Biden is allowed four more years in the White House.
“Now, if I don’t get elected, it’s gonna be a bloodbath,” Mr. Trump predicted at a campaign rally in Dayton, Ohio. “That’s going to be the least of it. It’s going to be a bloodbath for the country.”
Of course, the press immediately lied and claimed Mr. Trump was threatening violence in the streets.
In truth, Mr. Trump was explicitly talking about the economic “bloodbath” for the auto industry in Ohio and Michigan and around the country if the Biden Wrecking Ball were allowed four more years to further destroy the country.
The bloodbath remark came after Mr. Trump described the carnage wrought by politicians like Mr. Biden over a 50-year career selling out American workers and manufacturing to places like Mexico and China.
Specifically, he promised to put “a 100% tariff on every single car that comes across the line” if he gets reelected.
No sane, honest, decent person listening to that speech thought Mr. Trump was talking about anything other than the economic catastrophe that would befall the American auto industry if Mr. Trump does not win the election.
As usual, however, the press just went with the “blood” lie, claiming Mr. Trump was somehow threatening violence.
In defense of the press, many of its members are almost as stupid as they are dishonest. And they have never covered a politician like Mr. Trump before. Even after eight years, they still lose their minds every time he opens his mouth.
In the first place, it is so rare that any politician from either party actually talks about anything that voters actually care about. When Mr. Trump speaks about the American auto industry, people in Ohio get fired up because he is talking about something they actually care about.
Also, most politicians are poll-tested and boring. They avoid using dramatic language. Normally, for example, when the thoroughly embalmed Mr. Biden speaks, nobody has any earthly idea what the hell he is talking about.
He mumbles and garbles and stammers and simply runs out of words. “Well, anyway,” he often says, trailing off into another meaningless verbal cul-de-sac.
What is even worse is when Mr. Biden manages to string enough intelligible words together that people can actually understand what he is saying. That’s when he speaks to dead people, calls his sister his wife and demands that a paralyzed man in a wheelchair stand up for him.
You see, this is why his White House handlers keep the Easter Bunny on hand to stop him from engaging with anyone who speaks English.
I have always suspected that the real reason polling shows Hispanic voters turning so dramatically against Mr. Biden is that as they learn English, they realize what an idiot he is. If you spoke only Spanish, you might think Mr. Biden sounds like a normal human being who speaks the gibberish of a foreign language.
But for Mr. Biden, gibberish is his native tongue.
And the very worst of all is when Mr. Biden strings together a complete sentence after his team of chemists from the White House apothecary have juiced him up with enough drugs to fuel Hitler’s Nazi army.
“They’re goin’ to put y’all back in chains!” Mr. Biden threatened a group of Black voters in 2012 when he was running for reelection as vice president against Republican Mitt Romney.
The Romney campaign issued a statement complaining about Mr. Biden’s language, but that was it. And of course, Mr. Romney would go on to lose that election to Barack Obama and the hair-plug imbecile.
Under Mr. Romney, Republicans failed to point out that another reason Mr. Biden’s slave smear made no sense is that the Republican Party was actually formed to take slaves out of the chains Mr. Biden’s Democratic Party had put them in.
Luckily, Donald Trump is a new kind of Republican who is not afraid to point these things out.
• Charles Hurt is the opinion editor at The Washington Times.
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