- The Washington Times - Thursday, June 6, 2024

It is most certainly true that if Hunter Biden’s last name were not Biden, he would not find himself passing through a throng of media every day this week into a Delaware courtroom to face charges that he lied on federal forms when he illegally purchased a handgun during the drug-fueled unraveling of his life.

He would already have been to jail. 

That’s what happens to most Americans when they choose the path he chose to deal with the problems in his life. That’s not to say we don’t have tremendous sympathy for drug addicts like Hunter Biden. But for those not named Biden living in Delaware, rock bottom is waking up in a jail cell and realizing you have lost your freedom and your family.

Rock bottom for Hunter Biden was the conflagration of his daddy’s powerful influence deploying the Secret Service, the Department of Justice, Delaware prosecutors and the nation’s entire intelligence community to cover up Hunter’s crimes. And then sleeping with his brother’s widow, becoming a deadbeat father and then finding salvation in a “sugar brother” willing to spend millions to keep Hunter in a lavish lifestyle and pay his legal bills.

Hunter Biden is a little like the boy who murders his parents and begs for mercy because he is an orphan. His tortured memoir is an endless tale of misery and woe. But he is a man born into great fortune who is free to make his own decisions. And boy, did he make some doozies.

How many crackheads, after all, get paid to write their memoirs? Or repurpose their crack pipes into painting straws for blowing artwork that people pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for — because your father is president?

But it is really not fair to call the Biden family “trailer trash.” People who live in double-wides in trailer parks are some of the best of America. The Bidens are just lying, trashy, entitled deadbeats. 

They put out Christmas stockings in the White House for their pets — even as they refused to acknowledge the existence of their grandchild. 

Hunter Biden is a deadbeat father who had to be dragged into court to pay for his own child.

President Biden is a deadbeat grandfather who cares more about his political career than he does his own granddaughter.

Jill Biden is a deadbeat grandmother who is singularly driven by her desperation for her trashy family to cling to power and money and the White House, trotting out her senile husband to keep the big lie going.

And never forget that the Bidens have to keep getting new dog stockings at Christmas because they are such abusive and unworthy dog owners that every dog they get turns into a dangerous dog that must be sent away — to who knows where.

No, the Bidens are not trailer trash. They are a family of entitled dirtbags.

The only reason nobody has come up with a spinoff called “Real Housewives of Rehoboth Beach” is that any such trash fest would have to include Jill Biden and the whole gross clan, and they are all so gross and uninteresting that even the “Real Housewives” audience could not stomach it.

You would literally hire Bill Clinton to chaperone your daughter’s high school beach week with her friends before you would let the Bidens keep your cats for the weekend.

It is particularly rich to hear the media and the Biden family’s Democratic allies caterwauling over the unfairness of Hunter Biden being charged with the gun crimes he apparently committed. These are the very gun laws they champion and happily foist upon innocent American gun owners, the vast, vast majority of whom are law-abiding citizens.

Walk into any gun shop in America, and you will see bulletin boards crowded with photographs of proud gun owners holding up paper targets confirming their expert marksmanship or posing with nature’s bounty they killed with their rifles to feed their families. 

Nowhere will you ever find a picture of some creepy dirtbag posing naked with his finger on the trigger next to a dime bag of crack. You can only see that sort of thing on “Real Housewives of Rehoboth Beach.”

• Charles Hurt is the opinion editor at The Washington Times.

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