OPINION:
You could call it The Tale of Two Joes.
One on a leash and the other who holds a leash. One a slave. The other a master. Both named Joe.
On a leash is President Biden, whose unelected, non-medical doctor wife named Jill has taken over the presidency and keeps her husband — supposedly “the most powerful man in the world” — on a very short, geriatric leash, leading him on walks and putting him down for naps.
Mr. Biden’s entire campaign claims to be about saving democracy, yet no one who got elected to anything is running his White House.
The other Joe is former Rep. Joe Scarborough, the lapsed conservative who now has a morning squawk show on a left-wing cable television station. This Joe holds tight to the short leash he keeps on his wife, Mika, who also happens to be his obedient co-host at daybreak every day on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe.”
Maybe if they were into role-playing, MSNBC could offer a show called “Late Night Mika” and she could hold the leash. Apparently, however, she is not into domination.
She did, however, wander out of line last week on the morning after the catastrophic debate performance by Mr. Biden (he had gotten off the leash again).
“It’s fine not to spin what happened last night and we’re not going to,” Mrs. Scarborough ventured in response to some presumably original analysis of the debate performance from former Boston Globe columnist Mike Barnicle, who like Mr. Biden has a spotty history when it comes to coming up with his own material.
“Again, he had a terrible night,” Mrs. Scarborough declared.
Apparently, where she really wandered astray was before that when she said, “Everybody calm down.”
This rankled the Mister, who we presume is normally the one who gets to say “calm down” in their household. Whatever the case, Mrs. Scarborough’s directive to “calm down” had the opposite effect and caused a flash of rage to spark in Mr. Scarborough’s eyes.
“By— by— by the way, Mika — by the way, Mika,” he rudely interrupted, “everybody is calm here.”
Nothing says you are calm like having to declare that you are calm.
From there, it quickly turned into the kind of awkward lashing out normally reserved for marriage counseling sessions.
“No,” Mr. Scarborough barked at his wife. “You’re the only one raising your voice. Every one is calm here.”
If the MeToo movement were still a thing, Mr. Scarborough would have been finished before breakfast. But, then again, the media tends to turn a blind eye to such behavior from boorish, pushy men on the left, even if they are converts.
At this point, Mrs. Scarborough became flustered and tried explaining herself — always risky when you are dealing with an insecure man during a marriage counseling session who has been so publicly challenged on national television. Especially after he has been told to “calm down” when he is so clearly already calmed down.
“Again, it’s the, um, ‘Let’s just immediately pull this. Let’s end this. Let’s find someone else,’” she tried.
“That’s not what Mike said,” Mr. Scarborough snapped, clearly enraged by the woman-splaining coming from his errant wife.
Bravely, Mrs. Scarborough persisted, but at times with a quavering voice.
“That, uh, attitude toward this is what I am saying ‘slow down’ on. Because, again, there is no spinning it.”
Almost immediately, she found herself back in more hot water when she ventured into some media criticism.
“But let’s be balanced,” she implored. “Let’s for once show some balance in a media world that is so shrill with imbalance that we’ve become inured to the difference between these two candidates.”
Mr. Scarborough was continuing with his very best impersonation of a calm person, but he was already jerking his wife’s leash as she tried handing the conversation to another panelist on the program.
“But wa — Wait,” he interrupted again. “First of all, we always show balance. Nobody’s panicking.”
Obviously, right?
Then he slowed down to explain to his wife what she got wrong about what Mr. Barnicle had said about the other Joe’s debate performance the previous night.
“He wasn’t up to it LAST NIGHT,” Mr. Scarborough explained impatiently.
By this time, Mrs. Scarborough had surrendered. She was done fighting. She did not want things to get any further out of hand with her very calm husband.
“Right, OK,” she repeated, nodding submissively. “Wasn’t up to it last night.”
Mr. Scarborough had triumphed again. But he just had to put a button on things and demonstrate that his wife was firmly back on her leash for his national television audience.
“He said ‘last night,’” Mr. Scarborough repeated, as if performing some kind of marriage counseling hypnosis on his wife.
Then he turned back to the camera to remind his audience that he and everyone was still calm.
“I will say, it’s not panic.”
• Charles Hurt is the opinion editor at The Washington Times.
Please read our comment policy before commenting.