Ask Dr. E: Do you have any advice on preparing for the tough days ahead?

OPINION:

Dear Dr. E: By almost every measure, our country seems to be headed for dark times. Racial tension. National security. Immigration. Economic inflation. Interest rates. The list goes on. Do you have any advice on preparing for the tough days ahead? — ANXIOUS FELLOW CITIZEN FROM UPSTATE NEW YORK

Dear Upstate: Solomon wrote in the third chapter of Ecclesiastes that there will be highs and lows in life. He told us that there is “a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.” Or as the Byrds sang in 1965: “There is a season, turn, turn, turn. And a time to every purpose, under heaven.”

Life can be hard. We all must endure difficult situations; struggles and sorrows are common to all people, regardless of who they are. Generally speaking, there is only one thing we can know for sure: There are always storms on the horizon. Life is never just easy sailing.

Sickness interrupts what we thought would be a time of health. A broken appliance reaches into our savings account, thwarting our vacation plans. A traffic jam causes us to be late for work. Fires, tornadoes, and floods can wipe away all sense of stability at a moment’s notice. Relationships that seemed destined to last a lifetime end prematurely due to distance, lack of time, disagreements, controversy, or simply growing apart. The death of a loved one or a friend confronts us with a sense of unexpected grief and sorrow. Jobs can lead to a relocation that uproots us from what we thought would be our forever home. And some days, the car won’t start. As Robert Burns said, “But mouse, you are not alone, in proving foresight may be in vain; The best-laid schemes of mice and men often go askew, and leave us nothing but grief, for the promised joy!” 

Solomon also tells us that as iron sharpens iron, one man should sharpen the other. This implies resistance. It tells us that the furnace will be stoked, and sparks will fly. A lack of conflict only dulls the sword. Paul uses a similar analogy when he tells us our workmanship will be tested and proven by fire. The apostle Peter essentially says the same when he reminds us that our character and faith will be refined by the flame. It is in the heat of the difficult times that our metal is proven. Growth happens when we overcome the struggles and afflictions that life presents. 

Those who consistently run away from struggles become snowflakes. Unable to handle any heat, they melt away in selfish indignation and insignificance. 

Be the adult in the room. See the obstacles as opportunities and embrace challenges even when they seem overwhelming. Don’t expect things to be easy and safe. Welcome the hard work. Be willing to risk failure to achieve something good, regardless of what stands in the way.

Every year, millions of us make New Year’s resolutions. However, according to research by the University of Scranton, 92% of people fail to live up to their resolution, giving up on the new life they envisioned. That means only 8% keep their word and see their project through. As Marcel Schwantes wrote for Inc.com, “The 8 percent have an internal compass that keeps them locked in until they reach the top of the mountain. It’s a belief system of ’do whatever it takes’ that is intrinsically motivated at their core.” 

This may seem like a trivial example, but the statistics indicate a more significant trend in American culture. When the going gets tough, we quit. We commit only to the point that it is comfortable. At the first sign of discomfort, we “de-commit” and move on to something more pleasant. “I can’t do it” is the cry of our times. The story of the Little Engine That Could has become a bunch of little engines that would rather not. 

Character cannot be flipped on and off like a light switch. Integrity requires us to stand firm when the going gets tough. Children want comfort. Adults crave the challenge.

Like Katharine Hepburn once said, “Life is hard. After all, it kills you.” Struggles are inevitable. But it’s through them that we become strong. 

If you are seeking guidance in today’s changing world, Higher Ground is there for you. Everett Piper, a Ph.D. and a former university president and radio host, takes your questions in his weekly ’Ask Dr. E’ column. If you have moral or ethical questions for which you’d like an answer, please email askeverett@washingtontimes.com and he may include it in a future column.