OPINION:
Congratulations, America. Every one of you beat Nikki Haley in this week’s Nevada primary.
By a double-digit margin.
If your name was not on the ballot and you are a natural-born citizen or a citizen of the United States at the time of the adoption of the Constitution — having attained the age of 35 years and been 14 years a resident of the United States — you beat Nikki Haley in Nevada’s Republican primary Tuesday night.
Basically, every eligible American adult except former Vice President Mike Pence and Sen. Tim Scott of South Carolina (because they had the great misfortune of still being on the ballot despite dropping out of the race) beat Nikki Haley by a whopping margin of 63% to 30%.
Yes, that would be you — also known as “None of these candidates” — who received 63% of the vote. Ms. Haley came in second with 30%.
At least she beat Mike Pence (3.9%) and Mr. Scott (1.4%), who, again, had both dropped out of the race.
As the great political thinker and “meme-smith” Carpe Donktum observed on X, “This is like losing to a dead guy, except it’s even worse, they don’t even care which dead guy it is.”
Truly humiliating.
Not to worry, however, since no actual delegates were awarded based on the crushing results of Tuesday’s GOP primary in Nevada. All of Nevada’s Republican delegates will, instead, be awarded based on the results of Thursday’s Republican caucuses, in which, for some reason, Ms. Haley chose not to participate.
Ms. Haley promotes herself as some kind of no-drama, no-nonsense, accountant-type lady who is all about getting things done. So, how does a no-nonsense, accomplishment-driven candidate explain her performance in Nevada?
She signed up for the wrong election?
Well, the only thing more humiliating than signing up for the wrong election in Nevada is signing up for the wrong election in Nevada and then losing to “none of these candidates.”
Unless she is some kind of election denier, Ms. Haley should be calling each and every American to concede her loss in Nevada. That’s a lot of phone calls.
Ever since her distant third-place loss to former President Donald Trump in Iowa, all Ms. Haley seems able to do in this primary is lose, lose and lose. And lose bigly, as Mr. Trump might say.
After her third straight double-digit loss, the former South Carolina governor heads to her home state, where at least she has signed up for the correct primary contest. The only problem is that polls show here floundering around behind Mr. Trump by as much as 30 points.
The Republican primary cycle has been such a slaughter that even the media has not been able to dull the shine of Mr. Trump’s victories — try as they might.
Ms. Haley’s choice of attack on Mr. Trump is even weaker than her performance on the ballot.
Somehow, she is claiming that Mr. Trump is some kind of desperate kook loser who is making the election all about himself.
“He just can’t help himself,” she claims in her latest television ad airing in South Carolina.
“The ranting, the raving — chaos follows him.” (She hides her words in the voice of a male speaker who intones them gravely. At least he sounds like a serious person. After all, assuming the narrator of the attack ad is an eligible American citizen, he beat her in the Nevada primary.)
Yeah, it really takes a raving lunatic to stay in the race after winning three straight primary contests by double digits.
And then she — hilariously — claims: “It’s about him — not you.”
Oh, really?
Actually, the only psycho left in this race is the one who refuses to accept that she is not wanted in the Republican primary campaign and openly peddles herself to Democratic voters is Nikki Haley herself. She should quit her campaign and get to making those concession phone calls for losing the Nevada primary.
• Charles Hurt is the opinion editor at The Washington Times.
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