OPINION:
For my sons and me, the most cherished part of the holiday season is gathering with our family. There is nothing more sacred than spending time with our loved ones. We always take time to express our gratitude to those who must spend the holidays without their families, especially our dedicated soldiers and my former CIA colleagues serving overseas, often in harm’s way.
Retired Lt. Gen. Mike Barbero, who was commissioned in the infantry after graduating from West Point, knows plenty about unaccompanied tours of duty. He served three war zone tours in Iraq, including as commander of both the NATO training mission and the Multi-National Security Transition Command.
An Army career meant that Gen. Barbero and his wife, Linda, were always on the move from one duty station to another. That their daughter, Emily, thrived academically and athletically despite their peripatetic lifestyle is a testament to their strength and love as a family. Emily became a world-class equestrian who qualified for the Washington International Horse Show while her family was stationed in Norfolk, Virginia.
In 2008, Emily graduated with honors in marketing and international business from Xavier University and went on to earn a graduate degree in data analytics and data engineering from George Mason University. She enjoyed a wide array of more lucrative career choices, but she chose to serve her country.
After working in data and analytics for Navy Federal Credit Union, Emily began working in the Office of Intelligence and Analysis in the Department of Homeland Security. Carrying on her family’s distinguished record of public service, Emily was selected for Senior Executive Service Candidate School and awarded the DHS Outstanding Service medal.
At DHS, Emily was known for her technical expertise, exceptional interpersonal skills and leadership. Among her many achievements, she designed analytical tools to vet foreign travel, which strengthened U.S. national security.
Emily was poised for a long and impactful career of government service to our nation.
But in May 2020, after experiencing back pain and a persistent cough, Emily checked herself into a hospital, where she was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer. Emily had never smoked, was physically active and lived a healthy life. Because of COVID restrictions, she was alone in the hospital, without her family and friends, when the doctors gave her the shocking diagnosis.
In high school and college, I competed in sports. I served for decades in the intelligence community in some dangerous locations, often side by side with the U.S. military. But I’ve never met anyone tougher than those with cancer.
In June 2022, at the age of 35, Emily died. While fighting cancer, she confided to her parents that one of her greatest fears was that she was leaving this world at such a young age and would be forgotten.
Parents are not supposed to outlive their children.
Linda and Mike Barbero committed themselves to honoring Emily’s memory because they will always be her loving and caring mom and dad. They partnered with Emily’s alma mater Xavier University on a scholarship program for veterans and children of veterans who wish to study data science or public policy. Keeping Emily forever in their hearts, the Barbero family has raised more than $250,000.
The Barberos might not have realized it when they began their mission to carry on their daughter’s legacy by supporting veterans and academia, but they also embody three poignant life lessons.
First, if there is one thing we can be sure of, it’s that we will have to deal with adversity in our lives. The great football coach Vince Lombardi said, “it’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up.”
Linda and Mike Barbero have learned to live their lives to the fullest while grieving the loss of their daughter. They found a path to philanthropy, which soothes their broken hearts.
Second, we should all be encouraged to think about how we can make a valuable contribution to our community and beyond by connecting with something larger than ourselves, as Emily and her parents have done.
Third, let’s be impassioned about what matters most to us. We should have a reason for putting our feet to the floor each morning, a higher purpose that helps guide our lives. That’s what my sons and I will be thinking about this holiday season as we squeeze our loved ones tightly and say a prayer for Emily Barbero and the ones we have lost.
• Daniel N. Hoffman is a retired clandestine services officer and former chief of station with the Central Intelligence Agency. His combined 30 years of government service included high-level overseas and domestic positions at the CIA. He has been a Fox News contributor since May 2018. The Emily Marie Barbero Xavier Scholarship can be reached online.
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