OPINION:
Yale professor Amanda Calhoun commented after Donald Trump’s recent victory on why family members who voted for Kamala Harris should boycott their family members and friends this holiday season: “So if you are going into a situation where you have family members, where you have close friends who you know have voted in ways that are against you … it’s completely fine to not be around those people and to tell them why.”
As I write in my recent book, “Stumbling Toward Utopia: How the 1960s Turned Into a National Nightmare and How We Can Revive the American Dream”:
“This is not new. In the last few political cycles, commentators on the left openly called for children to confront, vilify, and humiliate any relatives, including parents, who may have voted for conservatives, at family get-togethers such as Thanksgiving and Christmas.”
Thus, when Americans normally put their differences aside to appreciate one another, the holidays have turned into a battle royal of partisan anger.
I have a dear friend who has had a wonderful relationship with his older brother for over 60 years despite their political differences. My friend is a conservative Republican, and his brother is a far-left Democrat.
The day after the election, his brother posted that he would no longer talk with or associate with family members or friends if they voted for Donald Trump or any Republican — including his brother. My friend grieves his brother’s reaction and the potential loss of relationship — lost simply because he was exercising his constitutional right to vote for the candidate who will likely implement policies he supports — angering his brother.
Sadly, as a result, he will not see his brother this Christmas. My friend will continue to love his brother, but he is not about to toss a match on gasoline until his temper cools.
In homes nationwide, children have turned against parents and parents have turned against children over political matters. I have friends who have not seen their children or grandchildren for years because of this.
In the past, events brought family and friends together — regardless of their political or religious beliefs. Whether they were jointly rooting for a favorite sports team, discussing their favorite movies or TV shows,= or sitting around the dinner table at Thanksgiving or Christmas, Americans came together rather than came apart.
In my book, I share an example of this, writing, “Republicans and Democrats could sit next to each other at a ballgame, in a church pew, or just be good friends like conservative Jimmy Stewart and liberal Henry Fonda.”
I continued: “One (Stewart) was a dedicated Presbyterian family man who had a forty-four-year-long marriage (and was a decorated war hero). The other, Fonda, an agnostic, endured several divorces (and father of Jane Fonda). They could bicker over politics, but at the end of the day, they remained good and devoted friends who cared deeply about each other despite their differences.”
Unfortunately, as our society has become more fragmented and people have hunkered down into their individual tribes, these bonds have not only frayed but are on the verge of becoming irreparably broken. That breakdown has now reached the family dinner table.
It is as if the Yale professor and others calling for destroying friendships and families over politics were following the example of the “Soup Nazi” from “Seinfeld,” proclaiming, “No turkey for you!”
The attack on family holiday gatherings is also the latest example of the massive toll our social fragmentation has taken on our civil discourse and respect for our fellow human beings. This cannot continue.
As we celebrate God’s blessings this holiday season, all of us, regardless of political persuasion, should strive to live out Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:43-44 to “love your enemies.” He also said in Matthew 12:25: “Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand.”
For us conservatives, it means showing respect rather than returning the fire of those with whom we may disagree.
By following Christ’s words, the wounds tearing our society apart can start to heal. We can again stand together despite our differences and seek the common good for one another rather than vengeance for ourselves. That is my hope and prayer this holiday season.
• Tim Goeglein is vice president of external and government relations for Focus on the Family.
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