OPINION:
Even Tim Walz could learn a thing or two about retreat, duck and cover from Vice President Kamala Harris.
Famously, Mr. Walz — the pale, doughy Minnesota governor plucked as Ms. Harris’ running mate — invented a whole new level of dodging when he bailed on his National Guard artillery unit just before it got deployed to Iraq back in 2005.
He claimed he had to jump ship like a rat down the anchor line so that he could run for political office. But of course there are many examples of elected politicians — Sen. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina and former Rep. Tulsi Gabbard of Hawaii among them — who faithfully fulfilled their military duties long after getting elected to political office.
What is particularly odious about Mr. Walz is that after leaving his unit, he proceeded to build his political career around the military service he left for his abandoned troops to fulfill. And then lied about it, including claiming combat experience he didn’t have and a rank he did not earn.
Draft-dodging former President Bill Clinton is General George danged Washington compared to Tim Walz, the man from the land of 10,000 tampon dispensers.
But even Mr. Walz cannot hold a candle to Ms. Harris when it comes to dodging combat and seeking safe harbor in the back trenches during the heat of battle.
Ms. Harris puts the “chicken” in “chicken hawk.” You wonder where chicken tenders come from? Well, now we know. Ms. Harris came straight from the boneless chicken farm.
Heck, President Biden was a barnstorming, whistle-stop campaigning phenomenon compared to Vice President Chicken Tender.
If she wins this election, it will take her eyes a month to readjust to the daylight after she emerges from the dark basement bunker her campaign keeps her locked up in.
And when she does emerge for a campaign event, she has to bring actual stars such as Megan Thee Stallion to fill stadiums. Heck, her campaign had to lie to the world and claim Beyonce was performing at the Democratic National Convention in Chicago just to get people to tune in.
When it comes to debates, campaigns normally negotiate terms and conditions for a variety of reasons, including to set expectations low so that it’s a victory if she overperforms. But in this case Vice President Chicken Tender’s campaign really is desperate to keep her from debating at all.
And why shouldn’t they?
So far, Ms. Harris has enjoyed unprecedented air cover from an obedient and adoring press. The propaganda these people have pumped out the past four weeks is like nothing we have seen in America since Al Gore invented the Internet.
The biggest scandal right now in the political press is whether former President Donald Trump’s campaign violated photography rules at Arlington National Cemetery when he visited the graves of fallen military service members killed three years ago at Abbey Gate during the collapse of Kabul.
Seriously, The New York Times has three reporters working on that story, and not one of them is asking Ms. Harris about her and Mr. Biden’s decision that caused the catastrophe in the first place that killed 13 American troops.
So, why should the spineless amoeba candidate come out and defend herself and her atrocious record in a debate when she has the entire political press doing it for her?
This is also why her campaign refuses to conduct any press conferences, even with the crotch-nuzzling political press that is propping up her campaign.
Her first interview since she magically became the Democratic nominee will be aired Thursday night with Democrat TV CNN, conducted by one of Mr. Trump’s most virulent detractors in the media. Even then, Ms. Harris refused to submit to the softball interview unless Mr. Cut-and-Run Walz was seated beside her as some kind of therapy support human.
If she does manage to find herself under fire, Mr. Walz is the best wingman she could have to run her away from danger and back to safety — unless it serves him better to just run off on his own and save himself.
• Charles Hurt is opinion editor at The Washington Times.
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