OPINION:
CHICAGO — As a very wise and beautiful wife frequently points out, it is always best to take out the garbage just as soon as you realize it needs to be taken out. And don’t forget to always replace the trash bag with a clean new one!
So it was that the bosses who run the Democrat Party reserved Monday night for President Biden to give his long, sad final farewell — a swan song to cap a 50-year career in politics that somehow ended abruptly after he won the Democrat primary and before the Democrat convention here.
The whole Monday night spectacle was as cruel and ignominious as it was necessary for the party.
Mr. Biden was delayed by hours of tedious speeches, well past sunset, past primetime and into the midnight hour. When he finally finished, you could hear the rumble of garbage trucks trundling through the alleyways of Chicago to cart off all that remained — the refuse of Mr. Biden’s political career.
The speech itself reminded us why Democrat Party bosses were so sure Mr. Biden would lose miserably to former President Donald Trump had he been allowed to remain on the ticket.
The speech was bitter, incendiary, unglued and dishonest. Most of it was delivered in a discordant yell and much of it was simply unintelligible.
But all the same people who spent the past four years telling us Mr. Biden was perfectly fit to serve another four years quickly admitted they had been lying the whole time.
So they took out the garbage right away — on the very first night of the convention — and replaced Mr. Biden with a fresh new bag.
Honestly, even before Mr. Biden spoke Monday night, he was long forgotten.
Forgotten, but not gone.
In the long, tortuous lead up to Mr. Biden’s farewell address, his replacement made a surprise appearance on the stage wearing a beige pantsuit — a much-discussed sartorial choice that seems to nicely sum up Vice President Kamala Harris’ campaign strategy.
No sharp colors. Nothing bold. Do no harm. Don’t even look at me. Just look at the other guy — the guy wearing the bright orange zoot suit with a necktie nearly dragging the ground who is constantly talking and telling you everything he thinks.
In fact, Ms. Harris refuses to lay out a single specific policy position so that voters can make an informed choice. You have to kind of admire Ms. Harris for at least having the decency to not even try defending the past four years of her and Mr. Biden’s policies, which have brought so much misery and ruin to the citizens of this country and the world.
In the audience for Mr. Biden’s farewell address sat former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, the powerful 84-year-old party boss who quietly led the bloodless coup to dump Mr. Biden from the ticket. She was not wearing beige.
Msr. Pelosi wore canary yellow and pearls, as in, “Yes, I just ate the canary and I dare you to do anything about it.”
During Mr. Biden’s long speech, she held a sign that said, “We [heart] Joe.” At times, Mrs. Pelosi half-heartedly bounced the sign and distractedly joined in the “We love Joe” chant going on around her.
Outside the convention hall was a giant, yellow full moon. Technically, it was a “super moon” because of the close proximity of the moon swinging past Earth. Even rarer, it was both a “super moon” and a “blue moon,” because it was the second full moon in the same month.
According to government astrologists, the next “super blue moon” will not occur until January 2037, when the events of last night will be long forgotten and long gone.
All that will be left will be the sound of garbage trucks rumbling through the alleyways of Chicago, collecting all the latest garbage.
• Charles Hurt is the opinion editor of The Washington Times.
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