OPINION:
Now it is the Summer Olympics silly season — after all the races have been run and all the high jumps have been jumped and all the swimming has been swum. The acrobats, with their chalked hands, have left the big tent. Even all the lady boxers have left the ring.
All that is left are the fringe competitions such as laser pistol shooting, wall-climbing and breakdancing.
Wait, what? Breakdancing? Do you mean, like, the 1980s hip-hop craze from the ‘hood?
Yes, a half-century later, the Olympic globalists in Paris finally decided to make American breakdancing a sport in the summer Olympics. Way to get with the program, boomers.
Now, this is not a bad thing. Who doesn’t love to watch real street hustle in Times Square with a boombox and with or without broken down, unfolded cardboard boxes for a little cushioning on the sidewalk?
As anyone can tell you, it is always a high honor to get wowed out of a $20 bill just because you are a White dude in a suit watching in marvel while also desperately trying not to get called into the acrobatics.
But it’s 2024, and the French globalists are just now discovering breakdancing. Including it in the Olympics now seems slightly dated and probably exploitative. I mean, did tryouts include these kids last weekend who did a full-body Evel Knievel backflip over 14 tourists — without Evel Knievel’s motorcycle?
Not likely.
But, somehow, the 2024 Summer Olympics in Paris did include a White girl named Rachel Gunn from Australia — that’s the one with kangaroos, koala bears and kiwis.
According to Wikipedia, Ms. Gunn boasts a Bachelor of Arts degree (with honors) in “contemporary music” and has a Ph.D in “cultural studies.” Her college thesis was titled: “Deterritorializing gender in Sydney’s breakdancing scene: a B-girl’s experience of B-boying.”
I’m not sure if my spell-check is on the fritz, or maybe those are not real words. Either way, there is a whole lot of faking going on.
But she dances by the street name “Raygun!”
Unfortunately for Ms. Raygun, the 2024 Summer Olympics in Paris was not quite the shining moment she had hoped. It was more like her Waterloo.
On the big mat, wearing a green and yellow tracksuit, Ms. Raygun performed a routine that became instantly famous for its ridiculousness and earned her a World Record ZERO points. One observer noted she looked like a dog who had just discovered a pile of fox manure and leaned into it for a good, long, leg-shaking back roll.
Who knew a Ph.D in “cultural studies” isn’t the best preparation for an Olympic gold medal in break-dancing?
Surely, Ms. Raygun is less than enthused by the global mockery she has endured. But she could still have a bright future on the world stage, though probably not as a breakdancer or in the Olympics.
She could run for president of the United States on the Democratic ticket if the Democratic Party gets tired of the current duo they have settled on for the moment.
In fact, Ms. Raygun would be quite the improvement over Vice President Kamala Harris, who similarly earned a historic ZERO points in the 2020 Democrat primary. And Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz, who is an accomplished Olympic liar. At least Ms. Raygun — as far as we know — actually earned her degree in “cultural studies.”
Mr. Walz has been caught in so many lies about his own military record that he makes President Biden look like Honest Abe. And, of course, Mr. Biden long ago got hounded out of presidential politics about faking his resume and plagiarizing speeches. (The media retrieved Mr. Biden from history’s dumpster because they needed somebody safe and familiar to run against former President Donald Trump in 2020.)
But the Olympic flip-flop and fakery gold medal still goes to Ms. Harris. The “BORDER CZAR” who intentionally allowed millions of illegals into the country and handed our border over to Mexican drug warlords and human smugglers now claims to be a law and order prosecutor.
The vice president who oversaw the highest inflation spike in 40 years now claims to care about the financial suffering of average Americans. So much so that she is now openly plagiarizing Mr. Trump’s campaign pledge to end taxes on tips.
The vice president, whose feckless policies sparked two new American-funded wars under her leadership, now claims to be the steady hand the world needs.
It is all so much obvious fraud and fakery that in normal political times, Ms. Harris would not be taken seriously for even a minute. But Donald Trump is on the ticket, so anything goes. And that means a talentless faker who lies her way through life gets her moment to shine on the world stage.
Raygun 2024.
• Charles Hurt is the opinion editor at The Washington Times.
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