Remembering our friend Joe Lieberman

OPINION:

Sen. Joe Lieberman was a remarkable American political figure. At a time of virulent partisanship, he remained a centrist, a conciliator. He sought to find a constructive middle ground in an era when most eschew compromise and comity. It was this positive approach to politics that led him to champion causes that could bridge the wide gaps between the two sides of the political spectrum.

While his public accomplishments over his long career, from Connecticut state politics to four terms in the U.S. Senate, merit the gratitude of the nation, the private side of Joe Lieberman is also worthy of recalling at this time. Others will amply recall Joe’s multitude of public accomplishments. I would like to remember his private side.

It was my privilege to know Joe as a friend and neighbor for decades. We lived near one another in Washington, our children went to the same schools, we worshipped in the same synagogue, walking together to services on many Saturdays and holidays, and we shared a multitude of life’s good moments as well as its usual challenges. The sad moment of Joe’s death brings to mind so many of the moments we and our families encountered together.

In public, Joe was measured, thoughtful and calm. In private, he was exactly the same. Over the many decades that it was my privilege to know Joe, never once did I hear him raise his voice in anger. He was one of those rare public figures whose public demeanor was completely in sync with the way in which he lived his personal life.

This point was emphasized to me by a longtime Secret Service agent who had guarded presidents and other high-profile political figures. While walking with the agent during the 2000 campaign in which Joe ran for vice president, this agent told me that he had known only two people whose comportment was truly the same in public and in private. One was President Ronald Reagan and the other, Sen. Joe Lieberman. Joe was in good company.

Over the years, my wife and I benefited greatly from our friendship with Joe and his devoted wife, Hadassah. We enjoyed countless Sabbath meals at which the Liebermans would invite us to join them. There we would meet political figures, intellectuals and other individuals, some well known and others unknown, but all of whom the Liebermans befriended. Frequently, movers and shakers from Washington and from elsewhere were there sharing Hadassah’s Shabbat meal, giving us the opportunity to hear firsthand about important issues affecting our nation and the world. A beneficent host, Joe would encourage the expression of all points of view and would oversee an animated dialogue. He never belittled or chastised anyone regardless of their opinion.

The observant Jew that the entire nation came to know in 2000, as he became Vice President Al Gore’s running mate, was genuine in his observance. Joe practiced traditional Judaism in the same way that he conducted every other aspect of his life, in a sincere and respectful manner. His faith was very important to him, and he practiced it diligently. But that faith did not in any manner deny the faith or religious practices of others. To the contrary, he seemed to thrive in extending greetings to non-Jewish neighbors at the time of their holidays or celebrations and to engage with them on religious questions.

Although his public duties took up much of his time, he was never too busy to lend a helping hand to his friends. I especially remember the time when one of our daughters had a serious accident and my wife and I headed to the emergency room. We let the Liebermans know about our daughter’s accident. Within minutes of our arrival at the hospital, Joe and Hadassah arrived to extend a helping hand. And help they did, both by providing comfort in a difficult moment and by making certain that a qualified physician would be available to assist.

Joe was empathetic and had a good sense of humor. Once, when our youngest daughter failed to win a medal at a fencing competition in Florida, she cried to Joe about her devastating loss in Florida. Without skipping a beat and with a wistful smile, Joe responded: “Sweetheart, I know just how you feel. I also suffered a big loss in Florida.”

Joe was devoted to his family and especially to Hadassah and to their children. In recent years, as a new generation of Liebermans arrived, he took special pride in his grandchildren — all 13 of them. But he was also very kind to our daughters, giving them advice and the opportunity to participate in an assortment of events that served to inspire and motivate them. To their delight, Joe regularly invited them to attend Capitol Hill ice cream parties.

Joe proved to be a good friend and an inspiration. He was a purveyor of sound advice borne of his years of public service. I would occasionally consult him when I was faced with issues in my role as a lawyer and he would invariably provide useful insights, usually urging me to avoid conflict and to resolve complex matters through restraint and thoughtfulness. He would assuredly have made a great president.

Most people will remember Joe Lieberman for his political accomplishments, his work to improve the environment, his efforts in creating the Department of Homeland Security, his expertise on national defense and international affairs and, most recently, for his efforts to help reconcile our nation’s political divide. My wife, our children and I will remember him as a good friend who always lent a helping hand in times of need and who was a profoundly optimistic and constructive force in our lives.

My last exchange with Joe took place just a few days ago. By email from Brazzaville in the Republic of Congo, I complimented him on a Wall Street Journal op-ed he had just published. Joe thanked me, but then expressed his concern that I might be unable to attend religious services for the Jewish holiday of Purim because of a dearth of synagogues in Congo. This was typical Joe — thoughtful, kind and concerned. He was, in the formula of our tradition, a mensch. I will very much miss this dear and good friend.

• Gerard Leval is a partner in the Washington office of a national law firm. He is the author of “Lobbying for Equality: Jacques Godard and the Struggle for Jewish Civil Rights During the French Revolution,” published by HUC Press.