OPINION:
Recent polling from Gallup confirms that married people are happier than single people, further confirmation of God’s declaration in Genesis that man was not meant to be alone (2:18).
Marital happiness can be attributable to many things, from the security of care and companionship, to shared dreams and the thrill and satisfaction of healthy physical intimacy. But one critical component that underlies and sustains most of the happiness in marriage is a commitment to having fun together.
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The majority of couples with marital problems who reach out to us for help at Focus on the Family have forgotten to prioritize this basic part of the relationship. For them, marriage has become “ho-hum” and business-like. At some point after the joy of the wedding ceremony, life settled into a daily grind of routine activity. Careers were chased, children were born, a larger home was purchased, and the days quickly became consumed with maintaining and surviving.
As a result, the romance faded. What used to be hours on the phone together and regular date nights become two people who only talk about practical matters, like finances or the kids’ grades. Eventually, the emotional connection points that drew the couple together disappear entirely.
And then one day, the couple realized they no longer had an intimate relationship, but something closer to a business arrangement. Even worse, their daily energy became so devoted to the mundane responsibilities of life, the couple had nothing left to offer each other.
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But it doesn’t have to be that way. Spouses can pep up their marriage and rekindle the romance their relationship once had. Christian marriage can and should be full of joy and life. After all, Jesus laughed. He went to parties. As married couples, we can do the same.
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It does the culture and the Church a world of good when Christians mix in joy and pleasure into the message of commitment and sacrifice in marriage.
“Date Nights” are an effective and fun way to interject some fun into your marriage. In fact, 92% of couples who have date nights at least twice a month say they’re more satisfied in their marriage. And a strong relationship is not only good for you, it’s one of the best gifts you can give to your children. Which is why if you’re saying, “We can’t afford to have a date night,” I’d encourage you to believe that you can’t afford not to have a date night.
Even if you’re low on money and time, be creative and keep it simple. Have dinner alone. Watch a movie. Take a stroll through the neighborhood. You can do almost anything together as long as you both enjoy the activity and it connects you in some way.
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After all, that’s the whole point of a date night: refreshment and reconnection in the midst of life’s busyness. Come together with that goal in mind and your reward will be a stronger marriage and a happier family.
Laughing together has been another marriage saver for Jean and me. Simply put, laugh as much as possible. You don’t have to become comedians, just have fun together. The point isn’t to tell each other jokes. It’s to find the humor in everyday life. It’s to take yourselves less seriously, so you can enjoy life as much as possible, together, with a smile on your face.
Proverbs says, “A joyful heart is good medicine” (Proverbs 17:22). Jean and I have great memories of laughing together in the car or around the dinner table. A few times we’ve laughed so hard for so long that we started laughing at each other laughing.
Laughter is often more about connection than it is humor. Studies show that couples who laugh are healthier, happier, and more connected. Even little giggles create bonds that last a lifetime.
Life is a gift and married life is a gift that can keep on giving. Life is short. Don’t miss out on the fun it provides.
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Jim Daly is president of Focus on the Family and host of its daily radio broadcast, heard by more than 6 million listeners a week on nearly 2,000 radio stations across the U.S. He also hosts the podcast ReFocus with Jim Daly.
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