OPINION:
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He led Jesus’ donkey into Jerusalem. He freed Nelson Mandela from prison on Robben Island. He carried Martin Luther King Jr. and John Lewis across the Edmund Pettus Bridge in Selma, Alabama. And he gently assisted George Floyd in his final day of “hooping” before the Great Black Man was handed over to authorities to be crucified and martyred for all of time.
So it is only fitting that President Biden would put politics aside and bravely venture out to Michigan this week to join a picket line of striking autoworkers.
Sacrifice. Solidarity. Selflessness.
Those are the signatures of Mr. Biden and his life’s work toiling away for the working man (and the credit card industry) in Washington these past 50 years.
Scranton Joe. Lunch Bucket Joe. Amtrak Joe.
“Tuesday, I’ll go to Michigan to join the picket line and stand in solidarity with the men and women of UAW as they fight for a fair share of the value they helped create,” Mr. Biden supposedly wrote on social media last week, announcing his brave stand with autoworkers.
(Say what you want to about former President Donald Trump, but at least he didn’t lie every time he claimed to be posting something himself on social media. Bring back “covfefe!”)
But anyway, “fair share.”
Too bad striking autoworkers are too stupid to know what’s best for them. If they really wanted their “fair share” under the Biden administration, there is one surefire way to get it: Hire Hunter Biden. Just ask the Ukrainians.
Give Hunter Biden a massively rich, no-work job on the board of a Ukrainian gas company (no language skills required) and the world will be yours.
Forget your “fair share”! Fair share is for chumps and losers. American taxpayers get their “fair share.”
Hire Hunter Biden, and you get your fair share, plus everybody else’s fair share.
Hundreds of billions of dollars’ worth of the world’s most advanced military equipment? No problem. (Also, gun control is for “fair share” losers like the American taxpayer.)
Tens of billions more in “economic stimulus”? No problem. Just line up over there, behind the bearded men from Iran with evil eyes wearing robes, sandals and turbans.
Government shutdown? Not a problem! Here in Washington, if your Hunter Biden insurance policy is fully paid up, both Democrats and Republicans will come together to ensure you never miss a payment, no matter how dysfunctionally broken the federal government may be.
With Hunter Biden in your pocket, we will open national parks in your country — even as we close them in ours! As the credit card commercial says, “What’s in your wallet?”
Oh, and the best part of the Hunter Biden Platinum Gold Bribery Plan is that you also get an entire deck of “get out of jail free” cards for the whole family, including corrupt grandchildren with shell company bank accounts.
(“Get out of jail free” cards apply only to corrupt grandchildren with shell company bank accounts who are allowed to use the name Biden. Like with those Biden-backed credit card statements, you’ve got to read the small print.)
So what is most remarkable about Mr. Biden’s announcement to mount the barricades and join the UAW picket line is that he is doing so even though they didn’t pay his son millions of dollars. The only explanation for this unprecedented situation under the Biden administration is that Lunch Bucket Joe needs the UAW more than UAW workers need Lunch Bucket Joe.
Mr. Biden suffered the ultimate humiliation earlier this month when he tried sending emissaries to help negotiate a deal between UAW and Ford Motor Co.
Union leaders told Mr. Biden to buzz off and sent his emissaries packing back to Washington.
Meanwhile, Mr. Trump appears to be cementing his grip on the Republican primary cycle and demonstrating his ability to beat President Biden, largely by stealing the type of Democratic voters who are now on the picket line in Michigan. They are suffering as much — or more — under the Biden economy than the rest of Americans. And they didn’t have to pay Hunter Biden a dime to learn that painful lesson.
• Charles Hurt is the opinion editor at The Washington Times.
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