So what’s the Washington Commanders new owner Josh Harris going to do now, after two straight embarrassing performances by his team — it is his team now, he owns it — and his stadium about to turn into Lincoln Financial Field South when the 6-1 Philadelphia Eagles come to town?
Is he scouring the country looking for a bingo caller to bring in as a consultant?
That was a hoot, you have to admit. That was a moment when maybe you could smile through the pain of the Jim Zorn tenure.
There’s been nothing funny about the Ron Rivera tenure, though. It’s been just one long .500 football ache, the last bout being the New York Giants — a team so beaten up they’ve been picking guys off their couches to play — defeating the Commanders 14-7 Sunday at MetLife Stadium.
It’s a deep ache, one that has lasted in varying degrees for more than 20 years. Maybe you thought it might stop when Harris and his saviors bought the team from Dan Snyder in July. It did briefly — until the same crew that Snyder assembled took the field this season and it became apparent that the football part hasn’t changed.
Oh, it may change when the season is over. But not tomorrow. Or the next day. Or next Sunday, even if the 3-4 Commanders manage to find a way to beat the Eagles. They could, you know. They almost beat them in Philly a few weeks ago, losing in overtime 34-31.
You know it won’t mean anything. Rivera’s postgame comments Sunday — “We have 10 games left to go. You never know what’s going to happen … you have to take them one at a time” — were an insult to a fan base that knows all too well what’s going to happen. They’ve taken them one at a time for nearly 400 games since the horror began in 1999, and everyone knows damn well what’s going to happen.
That’s why we may be at the point where Rivera’s stoic image on the sidelines and his long-winded coachspeak in press conferences are just too painful for some fans to bear. The calls have gone out far and wide for Rivera to be fired.
That’s not likely going to happen. That would be too Danny-like for Harris. Heck, Snyder, for all the destruction he brought to this franchise, only fired two coaches during the season – his first one, Norv Turner, one he inherited, in 2000, and Jay Gruden.
He hated the rest of them not long after he hired them (except for Joe Gibbs, of course) – Marty Schottenheimer, Steve Spurrier, Jim Zorn, and Mike Shanahan — but he didn’t fire them during the season. Even Snyder may have been smart enough to know that would not likely change anything.
Maybe Magic Johnson would disagree. One of Harris’ minority saviors, Johnson tweeted out after Sunday’s debacle, “Disappointing 14-7 loss for my Commanders to the New York Giants. It’s hard to win in the NFL when you only score 7 points.”
Like the great Tom Waits pointed out, “It’s hard to win when you always lose.”
Johnson, though, has enough power to perhaps pick out his seat in the owner’s box on Sunday. There is nothing as limited as a limited partner. This is Josh Harris’ call.
You might think he’s got a head coach there for the taking on his staff in assistant head coach and offensive coordinator Eric Bienemy. And you would be right — except right now Bieniemy and his play-calling seems to be one of the problems.
His Belichick-like act at the weekly coordinators’ press conference — all double talk and speaking without actually saying anything — was amusing early in the season. But it has gotten old fast.
Asked after the 40-20 loss to the Chicago Bears about balancing cohesion with the offensive unit, Bienemy replied, “Well, first of all my name is boss, my name is offensive coordinator. My name is former player. My name is Dad. My name is Uncle. My name Is sometimes counselor, sometimes my name is, hey, sometimes guys need a shoulder to lean upon. So the thing is there is a delicate situation.”
You want to listen to that every day?
No, as painful as it may be, Harris is going to have to play the hand he was dealt — these cards, played Monday by Rivera speaking to reporters: “I understand our fan’s frustration. Hell, I hear it too and I respect them.”
If Rivera truly understood the frustration of Commanders’ fans, he would quit.
You can hear Thom Loverro on The Kevin Sheehan Show podcast.
Correction: An earlier version of this column misreported the number of coaches fired midseason by Dan Snyder. The former owner fired two: Norv Turner and Jay Gruden.
• Thom Loverro can be reached at tloverro@washingtontimes.com.
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