OPINION:
Most Americans rightfully lament the state of childhood in our country today. About three out of every four parents of young children believe their offspring will not be better off than they are.
What does being “better off” mean to parents? One measure is by examining what parents consider to be important for their youngsters.
My research for the book “Raising Spiritual Champions” reveals the four major emphases of parents to set up their children for the good life. The top four priorities listed are academic performance, good health, happiness, and extracurricular achievements.
Another significant group that influences children Christian pastors to children are also concerned about the future for children. Yet they offer a somewhat different set of priorities for the children they minister to at their church: safety, meeting good friends, exposure to religious teaching, and the child’s happiness (also sometimes described as fun or enjoyment).
Interestingly, the children themselves have a very different focus a much more basic outlook. Adolescents are more concerned about answering critical questions that will shape their life. Where did I really come from? What is my purpose? How can I be a success? What kind of lifestyle should I lead? What are the crucial boundaries for me to know and accept? In essence, children are struggling with the foundations of their worldview, which we learned is fully developed by age 13.
Notice that parental priorities are performance-driven; pastor’s priorities are program-oriented; and children’s priorities emphasize spiritual insight.
According to the research, relatively few parents prioritize the spiritual development of their children. For instance, only one-third listed the shaping of their child’s worldview as a top priority and just one out of eight parents vigorously pursue that priority for their children.
In contrast, both the Bible and adolescents elevate spiritual development to the top of the priority ladder. The Bible indicates that it is primarily the responsibility of parents to ensure the proper spiritual development of their children (Deuteronomy 6:1-9, Psalms 78:4-8, Proverbs 1:8). Success is described as helping their children to become disciples of Jesus Christ.
Alarmingly, most American parents are moving down a different path. Less than one out of every five parents identifies discipling their child as a top priority in their parenting adventure.
What does discipling a child look like? Jesus listed six requirements for anyone who wants to be His follower. Those characteristics are: intensely and robustly loving God (Luke 14:26), submitting to God’s authority (Luke 14:27), surrendering everything to the cause of Christ (Luke 14:33), obeying Jesus’ teachings (John 8:31), loving other disciples (John 13:35) and producing spiritual fruit (John 15:8).
My research suggests that only about 3% of adults in America conform to that definition of a disciple. Because we know that it is existing disciples who develop future disciples, it is vitally important that parents who are disciples dedicate themselves to reproducing that spiritual commitment among their own children. For parents who are religious but fail to meet the discipleship criteria, it is recommended they go on that journey to wholeness alongside their children. A great starting place is by exploring the seven cornerstones of a biblical worldview, also described in “Raising Spiritual Champions.”
Truly, the future of our nation, as well as the Christian churches in it, depends on whether we choose to raise our children to be passionate followers of Jesus Christ. Parents have the chief responsibility to direct and guide them down that path.
• George Barna, Ph.D., is the author of 60 books, including “Raising Spiritual Champions.” He serves as a Professor at Arizona Christian University; Director of Research at the Cultural Research Center at ACU; and Senior Research Fellow at Family Research Council.
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