Experiencing God in the family

OPINION:

Young adults are currently leaving the church at an alarming rate. Parents are troubled that after rearing their children in the church for 18 years, one semester in university could make them question or abandon their childhood faith.

Every generation bears the crucial responsibility of passing on their values and beliefs to the next generation.

Churches respond to this challenge in diverse ways. Some hold onto the methods they have always used, desperately hoping they will eventually achieve different results. Others hire trendy youth pastors to run cutting-edge programs. They design rooms or entire buildings dedicated to attracting teenagers.

There is a plethora of evangelists and apologists who stimulate teenagers with robust, entertaining theological debate. The contemporary Christian music industry steadily cranks out catchy tunes to engage Christian youth. Yet, despite these valiant efforts, teenagers and college students continue to leave the church in droves.

I grew up without the benefit of a designated youth ministry. Our music was anything but cutting edge. Yet my four siblings and I all grew up to love God and His church. All five of us entered full-time Christian ministry from which none have ever departed. All three of my children graduated from seminary and serve in Christian ministry.

While my personal experience does not reflect that of many Christian families, let me share what I observed while growing up in a Christian home.

1. The greatest apologetic is experiencing God.

My parents did not merely tell us about God. They helped us experience him. We didn’t simply attend services; we encountered God. We were taught that God is a person who loves us and wants to be fully engaged in our lives. We were encouraged to open our hearts and minds to Christ and to expect him to engage with us.

2. Experiencing God must be modeled.

You cannot give to others what you don’t have yourself. My parents not only urged us to pray and read our Bible, but they modeled that behavior for us. No matter how early I rose in the morning, I invariably found my father sitting in his living room chair with his Bible in his lap, a pen and notepad in his hand, and tears in his eyes. His face would glow as he told me in hushed tones what God had revealed to him that morning.

3. Joy, not rules, is the currency of vibrant Christian homes.

Many Christian parents are so afraid their children will lose their faith that they surround them with rules and curfews to quarantine them from the evils lurking in the world around them. Sadly, this approach often drives children away from a legalistic, rules-based religion. My home, though far from perfect, was filled with laughter. My parents rightly reasoned that children could rebel against a rule, but why would they resist the joy of the Lord?

4. Aim to release your child to God.

Some parents train their children to be dependent on them. We ought to encourage youth to depend on God. There were many times when I asked my dad for advice about a decision I was facing. Inevitably, he would ask, “What do you sense God wants you to do?” At the time, I found that response frustrating. I wanted a straightforward answer! Dad later explained that he did not want to teach me to come to him for answers. After all, God was far wiser than he was. Furthermore, Dad might not always be around, but God would. My parents avoided playing a role that is reserved for God. They continually pointed me back to him.

5. Don’t just rear your children, enjoy them!

This lesson might be the most important one I learned as a parent. Christian parents typically take their responsibility to nurture their children seriously. But in the process, it can become a burdensome task. Nothing is more rewarding than pouring your life into the heavenly gift that is your child. Never forget that.

At the end of your life, you won’t have been a successful parent if you passed on an inheritance to your children but not a spiritual legacy. Don’t just leave your kids your house and savings account. Leave them your faith.

• Richard Blackaby, Ph.D., is president of Blackaby Ministries International. He has written or co-authored 35 books, including “Experiencing God,” “The Ways of God,” and “Rebellious Parenting: Daring the Break the Rules So Your Child Can Thrive.”