OPINION:
St. Paul, Minnesota — Passing core values to our children demands a purposeful parenting approach in the modern age. For us, it involves a three-pronged approach of identifying, communicating, and modeling our values.
Early in our marriage, we proactively identified the core values we wanted to instill in our children. With three children under five, our current teaching methods typically involve repetition and reminders (e.g. we’ll often say things like “You get what you get, and you don’t throw a fit,” or “Jesus loves us all,” or we’ll sing songs as we lay them down to sleep). As our children grow, we hope to evolve these conversations into more engaging and reflective interactions. The key point is we find ways to communicate our values as living principles shaping our family’s culture, not just abstract concepts.
Modeling is equally crucial, as many lessons are “caught” rather than “taught.” We strive to demonstrate our values in daily actions, decision-making, and interactions, providing a tangible example for our children to emulate.
We also recognize the importance of not parenting in isolation. We intentionally spend a lot of time with a group of friends from church, comprising people in a similar life stage, who can offer mutual support, lightening the burden of parenting in our fast-paced world. Strong family support is another blessing, as the values we have for our children mirrors the values our parents tried to instill in us. Celebrating traditions, retelling our shared story, and connecting with extended relatives all contribute to imparting values in ways we couldn’t achieve alone.
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