OPINION:
The abortion debate generally centers around two people: the mother and her child. Of course, there’s a lot of back-and-forth over how to define her child, when her child “becomes” a child, what that means, how or whether to support her as a mother and so on.
But somehow, another necessary party is almost always missing from the debate — namely, the father. I find this baffling.
Subscribe to have The Washington Times’ Higher Ground delivered to your inbox every Sunday.
There is a father involved, somehow, in every pregnancy. So why aren’t we talking about him? Why aren’t we talking to him?
Florida Republican Sen. Marco Rubio recently introduced legislation aimed at requiring fathers to pay half of the medical expenses incurred by pregnancy, delivery, and prenatal care. I think male accountability for pregnancy is a huge part of ensuring support for vulnerable women, and to that end, I think it’s a welcome addition to the conversation.
If men are expected to pay child support after delivery, why shouldn’t they also help shoulder some of the costs of pregnancy? Women don’t have the luxury of waiting until after delivery to take on the responsibilities of motherhood. Men certainly shouldn’t get a pass from the duties of fatherhood.
Understanding the role men play in the lives of women considering abortion is important when trying to draft legislation aimed at tying them to fatherhood. Fatherhood has a number of facets. It’s not just economic – it involves specific, social, emotional, and moral responsibilities.
Tying men financially to the children they sire during pregnancy, rather than afterward, helps clarify when exactly fatherhood begins because it clarifies when the child’s life begins. It also helps guarantee vulnerable mothers monetary support during what is, for some, a financially difficult time.
It still doesn’t fully address the problem of fatherhood in this situation, or get the new mother the support she needs. It also doesn’t take away the immense economic and social forces that pressure women to abort – particularly the pressure from the father of the baby, which is sadly all too common.
Fathers have the power to help the mothers of their children choose life, endure even complicated, difficult pregnancies and raise happy, well-adjusted children. Fathers who are present to their families are obviously correlated with better long-term outcomes for mothers and their children along every quantifiable trajectory.
Half of the medical expenses incurred as part of pregnancy and delivery is a pittance compared to what many of these men have to offer, should they choose to step up. And that fullest, richest form of fatherhood is what we need to encourage. That form of fatherhood is the one that will most completely serve vulnerable mothers and children.
What that looks like in policy and cultural terms is a question I’d like to see answered.
A purely economic relationship doesn’t build a strong family. It doesn’t comfort a new mom through bouts of morning sickness or bed rest. It doesn’t help her change a diaper at 3 a.m. during her third straight week of sleepless nights, or coax clumsy, trusting smiles from a growing baby’s face.
I’m also clear-eyed about the steep costs of pregnancy and childbirth in the U.S. Even for women with large employer health plans, out-of-pocket costs for pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum care average around $3,000. This doesn’t include the cost of insurance premiums, or extra costs for out-of-network care, which men would be expected to help cover under Rubio’s bill. For women who are uninsured, the cost of pregnancy and childbirth could balloon to nearly $19,000. Of course, they could qualify for state CHIP coverage, but they will have to navigate the application process.
My point is that requiring a father to shoulder half the financial burden of pregnancy is a good first step, as a smaller part of a broader patchwork of pro-life, pro-woman support policies. The goal is not a society where men are forced by law to cover half the costs of pregnancy and childbirth. The goal is a society where men voluntarily step up and support women, even when times are tough, because they embrace duty and responsibility and because they know they will have the support of their community.
The goal is a society where our public policies support and encourage fatherhood, not leaving vulnerable women to fend for themselves. We need policy that encourages long-term commitment, policy that helps men provide and stay present in their children’s lives.
When states support vulnerable women facing unexpected pregnancies by expanding Medicaid or CHIP coverage for new mothers, and by funding pregnancy centers that provide families with holistic care and support, all this assistance also helps fathers make the right choice to support both mother and child.
If the father should be kept away from the family for the safety of the woman and her child, this is all the more reason why we must have a pro-life, pro-family social safety net in place.
It’s long past time to include fathers in pro-life policy. They should be brought into their child’s life from the moment it begins.
___
Benjamin Watson is a former NFL player and Super Bowl champion. He is the current vice president of strategic relationships with Human Coalition, and author of the book “The New Fight for Life: Roe, Race, and a Pro-Life Commitment to Justice.”
Please read our comment policy before commenting.