OPINION:
Eyes are the window into a man’s soul, which is why President Biden always wears dark sunglasses.
Dark, impenetrable glasses. The kind favored by daring aviators battling the harshest glare high above the clouds. And bank robbers.
Mr. Biden has never served in the military. Or flown a plane. In fact, he has no known marketable skills, which is why he has devoted his life to a career in politics.
That career choice — along with a schoolteacher’s government salary — has made the Biden family millionaires many times over.
Only in Washington …
So, he wears dark glasses. Even in Ireland, where it always rains.
Mr. Biden’s publicity team casts the aviator glasses as a sign of how hip and cool the 80-year-old is. But there is nothing hip or cool about a guy who needs to be rescued by the Easter Bunny at an egg roll on the South Lawn of the White House.
Or a guy who can take questions only from children in a foreign country — and still gets stumped.
His publicity team peddles this comic fantasy that the aviator glasses are like some sort of cape that makes Mr. Biden some sort of superhero. But the comic tale story quickly falls apart after that.
Superman saves Lois Lane — and the universe — from Lex Luthor. Batman saves Gotham from the Joker. Wonder Woman rescues the fantasies of every teenage boy who lived during the 1970s and ’80s with her American flag leotard and bulletproof bracelets.
Whom does Shady Joe Biden in Dark Glasses save?
The poor in America are poorer because of Mr. Biden’s monstrous inflation. Children of the world are being smuggled, raped and enslaved because of Mr. Biden’s open border. The innocent people of Ukraine are dying by the thousands because of the war Mr. Biden invited.
Seriously, who is better off under Mr. Biden? Vladimir Putin? The Chinese Communists? Mexican drug cartels and human smuggling warlords?
Mr. Biden may be a figure for the comic books. But he is no superhero, even with his dark glasses.
There is a reason you have never seen a successful politician wear dark glasses. It’s the same reason America hasn’t elected a bearded president in over a hundred years.
In politics, appearance matters. A politician’s appearance — for better or for worse — is the most obvious and effective attribute that is conveyed to more than 300 million citizens. Countless studies have shown that voters tend to vote for the person who looks more normal, is taller, or projects strength and power.
Similarly, beards tend to convey obfuscation. If a man grows a beard to hide his face, what else is he hiding? Perhaps unfair, but true nonetheless on the subconscious level for voters. Anyway, it’s why politicians tend to avoid beards.
Dark glasses are a whole different level of obfuscation. They intentionally obscure the window into a man’s soul. Dark glasses are for concealing. Hiding intentions. Shady.
The dark aviator glasses are the single most definitional trademark of Mr. Biden and his presidency. They project concealment, evasiveness and lying.
It’s where he hides. It prevents people from knowing where Mr. Biden is peeping now that his handlers no longer allow him to sniff the hair of little girls. It helps him keep a straight face, even as he travels abroad amid the revelations of a burgeoning corruption scandal involving his family with governments from China to Ukraine.
And maybe even Ireland. Where the sun barely shines but Mr. Biden still wears dark shades.
• Charles Hurt is the opinion editor at The Washington Times.
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