OPINION:
I am pro-life but not an activist. I grew up in the turbulent ’60s before Roe v. Wade. I was always conservative and even though I made my share of mistakes I never had an abortion. And honestly, if the situation had made that a possibility, I know in my heart I wouldn’t have been able to go through with it. I did, however, have a couple of good friends that were in that situation. And since the Democrats feel that they should march out people who have had abortions touting its positive results, it must be noted that there are two sides to every story.
The first of my friends became pregnant right after Roe. The man who impregnated her was in a relationship and she knew he would want nothing to do with it. She didn’t even tell him. Instead, she initiated a relationship with another man and recruited him to pay for her abortion. It was deceitful and wrong, but I was her friend for a long time and, if nothing else, I am loyal.
I sat with her in the hospital after her abortion. That is the day everything changed. I could see the difference. The pro-choice people who have never been around someone who was physically and emotionally changed from this procedure will never understand. It does something to a woman. Even those who deny it will always have those “what if” questions in the back of their minds.
She got on with her life but on a much different course than before. She delved heavily into drugs, had relations with multiple partners, stole and drank heavily. One night she picked me and my boyfriend at the time up to drive around in her car. I didn’t realize it at the time, but she was very inebriated. We got in and when it dawned on me that we were on a death ride, I grabbed the steering wheel, but it was too late. As the car was sailing through the air on a collision course with a hillside, I readied myself for the end of my life.
We all miraculously survived with only minor injuries. My friend sobered up quickly and somehow, some way got the policeman to put the accident down to wet roads.
I didn’t give up on her, though. I convinced my parents to allow her to accompany us on vacation to Florida. That is when we had a terrible row since she was taking advantage of the trip to go further down that road she started on after the abortion. We returned barely speaking.
One day a few weeks later, she showed up at my house with another woman who was part of a motorcycle club. She asked if I could take them to the store. I agreed and as I waited outside for them, they came back to me with all the things that they had just stolen. Not because they needed it, but because they wanted to do it. I was aiding and abetting without my consent. I was horrified. Me, who had never taken anything in my life that wasn’t paid for.
That was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and I never saw her again. I heard she died. I don’t know how she died but I know she died broken, and it started with an abortion.
You may think that I am making a mountain out of molehill and that the abortion did not put her on this dangerous path, but I have another story. A story of another friend and again with me being supportive of her desire to get an abortion.
This friend was already married and a mother. She had an affair and got pregnant. I get it. It was a mistake, and I was, as usual, the loyal friend. After her abortion, I took her to my home and let her recuperate there. I made no judgments. I could, however, see that familiar change in her. The fact that when she looked at me all she could see was that day, that thing she did.
After that, she got a divorce and moved away. I have never heard from her since.
Now, all those pro-choice people that are saying rights were taken away are wrong. They don’t need to give me examples of women whose very lives depend upon either an abortion or them. They don’t need to tell me that they were raped or there was incest involved or the baby was deformed in some way and that they needed an abortion. No one would argue with that. There is another silent pain that one experiences that no one talks about. It’s the pain a mother must feel when she terminates something that she knows is alive inside of her.
I have birthed a child and I felt that life inside me from an early stage even though doctors say that cannot be. That fluttering feeling is another human being. When one feels that movement, it changes everything.
So, to summarize, no rights were taken. If one wants an abortion, they can get one. It is now up to the people of each state, not the federal government. If you are unhappy with the laws of your state, move to California. If you cannot get a late abortion in your state, then you can easily get it in another. I am assuming one simply must ask any Democrat and they will ferry you to whatever abortion clinic you choose. But will they be there after the fact when the realization and guilt kick in?
• Crystal Donnelly is a freelance writer who lives in Stafford, Virginia.
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