OPINION:
Do not let the Democrats fool you. They are deeply in the glooms. Even smiling, happy-go-lucky Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is in the glooms, at least behind closed doors. It is not just the southern border where more foreign-speaking bipeds roam than native Americanos. It is not inflation that is eroding the dollar’s value, even late at night when most Americans are asleep. Nor is it crime or the condition of the cities. It is a matter that President Biden once took great pride in, that being his choice of the first Black, female vice president: Kamala Harris is a disappointment. She is a born blank. Mr. Biden found out too late to do anything about it. Though what could he do? The progressives have not legalized euthanasia yet.
Ms. Harris is, according to the Constitution, supposed to be his successor if anything happens to the president. Unfortunately, she is even more unpopular than Mr. Biden, and she has only been in office for just over a year. How will her fellow Americans esteem her at this time next year? What if Hunter Biden’s father, the president of the United States, gets a chill or falls victim to one of the viruses now so prevalent in the land. If the president gets gravely ill, who will protect Hunter? Well, now wait a minute. I have come up with solutions for my Democratic friends before, and I can be relied upon to do so again.
Did I not hear that there is, of a sudden, an opening on the Supreme Court? And has not the president already said that he is looking for a Black woman to nominate for that opening on the Supreme Court? Moreover, is the president not intent on making history by nominating a Black woman to fill the opening? Mr. President, look no further. You have your Black woman to serve on the Supreme Court, and she is relatively young. Justice Kamala Harris will be around a long time. She might even outlive Justice Barrett, assuming she does not lose her temper.
Then there is the final reason for nominating Ms. Harris to the Court. There is no other way to get rid of her. I have checked. Every other way is illegal.
Yes, I know there are many reasons for my Democrat friends’ dour mood, but the fundamental reason is that they have not one but two blanks in the White House. It is entirely possible that if President Biden passes away while in office, Ms. Harris will become president, and things will get even worse. For one thing, she cannot maintain a staff. Can you imagine a President Harris having to drive her own car? With a Justice Harris safely seated on the Supreme Court, the Democrats would be in a position to have a fresh face to bring to the vice presidency. My favorite choice, of course, would be Beto O’Rourke or maybe someone entirely new. How about the first White House gardener ever to be vice president? Though the Democrats had better check that the gardener speaks English or at least has his papers in order. But if Mr. Biden were to make the White House gardener his replacement for Ms. Harris, he would be making history for the second time in a matter of months. It would be kind of like making history on top of making history if you follow me.
All of this identity politics has got to end somewhere. Are we going to go into a round two of it or round three or four? What is more, how minor does an officeholder have to be to have his or her or its rank utterly ignored? And when are we going to stress qualities other than the utterly inconsequential for holding office? It really does not matter that Mr. Biden is male or that Ms. Harris is female. What matters is that they are not very bright and that Americans want an intelligent person to put up against Russian President Vladimir Putin and Chinese President Xi Jinping. When the Russians and the Chinese start bragging about how many transgender leaders they have raised to office, I shall get serious about identity politics.
• R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr. is founder and editor-in-chief of The American Spectator. He is a senior fellow at the London Center for Policy Research and the author most recently of “The Death of Liberalism,” published by Thomas Nelson, Inc.
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