Christian moms get tips on ‘the sex talk’ in an era of gender upheaval

A new book seeks to give Christian moms resources for having “the sex talk” with their kids in an age of “radical gender ideology.”

Coauthors Amy Davison and Hillary Morgan Ferrer told The Washington Times in a telephone interview Thursday that “Mama Bear Apologetics Guide to Sexuality” (Harvest House, October 2021) came from their struggles to impart their values to children in today’s secular environment where sexuality comes up on shows like “Sesame Street.”

“A lot of parents can be apprehensive to have these talks with their kids because they don’t want them to lose their innocence,” said Mrs. Davison, 37. “But when this world is feeding them a secular view from the time they’re little, that’s not a reasonable expectation.”

Mrs. Davison, who lives just north of Dallas, said she and her husband “decided to be upfront very early on” about sex with their three sons.

“If your kids are ready to ask the questions, then mom and dad have to be ready to offer the answers,” she said.

She added: “It’s not just one sex talk. It’s supposed to be this lifelong discipleship. Recognize the age and stage your child is at, be aware of the way the world is reaching them and then be the first one in line to have those conversations.”

Although her family attends a Southern Baptist church, Mrs. Davison said she realized early that popular culture was reaching her children more directly every day.

“Watch cartoons and listen to music with your kids; it won’t be long before you encounter something that will offer a jumping-off point to have those conversations,” she said.

The co-authors said their book is aimed at biological, foster, adoptive and “spiritual” mothers.

Mrs. Ferrer, who lives in Iowa and attends the Reformed Church in America, said she considers herself a spiritual mother even though she and her husband have no biological children.

“Everyone has a woman who is a mother to them in some way,” said Mrs. Ferrer, 42. “Every human being you come across should be treated with the dignity and respect of a person made in the image and likeness of God.”

She said that her contribution to the book tries to help parents teach their children that words have meaning, giving them the tools to resist “linguistic theft” of traditional ideas about gender and sexuality.

“There are ideologies within sexuality and gender that are being packaged with Christian-sounding words and virtues,” Mrs. Ferrer said. “But because the definitions have been changed, they mean something different from what mom and dad taught.”

In Chapter Five of the book, she explores the 2020 National Sex Education Standards, now adopted by 40% of U.S. schools.

She said the standards adopt “extremely political” guiding principles regarding “social, racial and reproductive justice and equity,” “intersectionality” and “language inclusivity” that tries to recognize as many sexual identities as possible.

“They’ve changed the guidelines to refocus on consent and pleasure as the only two things that should guide sexuality,” she said. “The Christian worldview believes sex, gender and family all have a meaning and purpose that we cannot change based on our preference.”

Parents can fight the trend by reframing categories for their children, beginning with the basic idea that some words like “smile” have universal meanings.

She added that parents should also be wary of efforts to redefine tolerance and to tell children to adopt gender identities based on stereotypes about their behavior.

“Tolerance traditionally means acting with respect despite disagreements. Now it seems to mean that everything is equally valid, meaning there’s no disagreement at all,” Mrs. Ferrer said.

“Gender ideology tells kids that they can discover which gender they are based on how much they resemble these gender stereotypes,” she added.

“They say that’s how you discover your gender identity and it’s completely backward. Instead of having a fixed gender with a range of expressions, they give you a range of genders based on your expressions,” she said.

Already the No. 1 bestseller in “Gender & Sexuality in Religious Studies” on Amazon, the book emerged from an online ministry with 54,000 social media followers that Mrs. Ferrer started in 2016.

The co-authors said their online writings, podcasts, Facebook and Instagram interactions and conversations with different mothers inspired the wisdom of the book, which they said has already sold 20,000 copies.

“People appreciate that we give them words for things they didn’t know how to express,” Mrs. Davison said.