Anthony Fauci, gag, to be memorialized in kids’ book

OPINION:

Anthony Fauci is going to be featured in a new children’s book from Simon & Schuster called, “Dr. Fauci: How a Boy from Brooklyn Became America’s Doctor.” Gag.

A better title?

“Anthony Fauci: How a Boy Went From Brooklyn to Bust, in One Deception-Filled COVID-19 Year.”

Or maybe one for the imaginations — “Gymnastics With Anthony Fauci: How to Pirouette Over Truth and Dance With COVID-19 Deceptions.”

This is the guy who, as President Donald Trump just so kindly said on a podcast with a Fox News host, does better with promotion than with health recommendations.

This is the guy who spent a year telling America’s leading government officials that if they didn’t lock down the country, close down businesses, shut down churches, keep kids home from school, make everybody wear masks and pressure everyone to stay inside, out of the COVID-19-drenched air, then people would die — die! — and then added: But I’m not a policymaker.

This is the guy who pretended he had nothing to do with policy, while making sure his policies were put into policy.

This is the guy who told you not to wear a face mask, then to wear a face mask, then to perhaps wear gloves and face shields, then to nope, just wear the face mask, then to wear two face masks because if one face mask is good, two face masks are better — that it’s just “common sense” to double up on the face masking duty.

Wait for it, wait for it. The triple-layer face mask advisement is soon to come from Fauci’s lips.

But it’s not policy.

He leaves that to the policymakers.

This is the guy who never met a Republican rally that wasn’t a super-spreader event, but conversely — conversely and simultaneously — has met plenty of Democrat-adored Antifa protests and Black Lives Matter shoulder-to-shoulder, sharing-the-bottle-drinking events that nonetheless evaded that same super-spreading virus. Or, at least the label.

This is the guy who closed the ballparks due to coronavirus, but who then sat in the closed ballparks, minus a face mask, at least for a minute, and blamed the media attention that followed on those “mischievous” anti-maskers, anti-Fauci types.

This is the guy who stoney-faced Sen. Rand Paul during a recent sort of raucous back-and-forth in which the good senator accused him of theatrics for wearing a face mask after vaccination, and the good doctor shot back that nanny, nanny, boo, boo — and that was the end of that. Science, Fauci-style, prevailed.

This is the guy who would have Americans believe that once the coronavirus is passed and a return to normalcy returned, then hold the phone, slow the roll, plenty more viruses are on the horizon. Like what? Like this new “wild” version of the coronavirus that’s coming quick, quickly, even quicklier — no time for grammar, folks — and that if Americans don’t prepare now, that Americans, once again, will die now. And the ones who don’t die now, will surely die later. It’s science.

It’s the “Wild Type,” Fauci warns.

“We’re not dealing with a stain situation of the same virus,” Fauci warns.

This is the guy who would have all of America, all of the world, even, stay face-masked and indoors in perpetuity. Or, at least, until the next election and the next Democrat voted in by mail.

Because “wild type” coronavirus variants congregate at the voting boxes. 

It’s science.

And it’s coming to a kids’ book store near you.

“There’s so much in [Fauci’s] story that will resonate with kids today — riding his Schwinn bicycle around Brooklyn to deliver prescriptions from his dad’s pharmacy, playing stickball in the streets of a neighborhood where he learned to get along with all different kinds of people, and always asking questions about the world,” author Kate Messner told CNN.

Wonderful. And let’s not forget how he locked up a nation for a year, after which he continued to press for a lock-up of the nation for even more months. That’s all part of the Fauci story, too.

Then again, why scare the children.

Let them have the fantasy of a Dr. Feelgood Fauci. The reality will only ratchet their depression further.

• Cheryl Chumley can be reached at cchumley@washingtontimes.com or on Twitter, @ckchumley. Listen to her podcast “Bold and Blunt” by clicking HERE. And never miss her column; subscribe to her newsletter by clicking HERE. Her latest book, “Socialists Don’t Sleep: Christians Must Rise Or America Will Fall,” is available by clicking HERE.