CDC tees up next mass hysteria

OPINION:

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention just warned that a new tropical disease, a rare tropical disease, a new and rare and hardly ever-before-seen tropical disease has come to America’s soil. And now two people have died. And the scary part is: More people could die. As we all know, more dead people mean fewer taxpayers. That’s bad for government business.

A lockdown of the nation seems warranted.

Here’s the science for that: Four cases of this disease, this melioidosis disease, as it’s called, have already been reported; two of which proved fatal. And as Dr. Anthony Fauci might say: It’s very likely, possibly likely, or, at the least, potentially likely, perhaps, that more will die, either with or without this disease, sometime in the foreseeable future. It’s only common sense for people to wear at least two face masks, if not more, and maybe even plastic face shields, in order to keep the dying from dying quicker. There’s a disease, dontcha know.

“The [CDC] has confirmed a new fatal case of the rare disease melioidosis in Georgia that is linked to three previous cases in different states,” the CDC wrote. “The cases have included adults and children. Two of the four patients had no known risk factors for melioidosis; two died.”

Need more be said?

Melioidosis is a bacterial infection — that’s killed two in America. The bacteria that causes the infection — you know, the infection that’s killed two already, in America — is typically found in the waters and soils of Southeast Asia and northern Australia. It causes an infection — an infection that can kill, by the way, and it’s already killed two in America! — when humans or animals come into contact with the contaminated water. And in America, two have died from the infection already. Two more have tested positive for the infection.

So you can see the danger.

It’s not enough to not drink the water that’s found in the mud puddles of southeast Asia and northern Australia. It’s imperative to exercise additional cautions, to include not singing in church, not gathering in groups greater than one and not eating in restaurants — unless, of course, Democrats are among the esteemed in the dining party.

The death rate is 50%, for crying out loud. Soon enough, according to the experts, the scientists, the professionals, the medical and health all-knowers — like Microsoft’s Bill Gates and China’s Doctor Doctorly — the death rate could soar to 100% or more if we don’t take careful precautions.

Obviously, Republicans are to blame.

The preponderance of confirmed cases in America so far have been confirmed for the confirmed Republican-controlled states of Texas and Georgia and Oklahoma. 

“After testing more than 100 soil and water samples near the patients’ homes [in these states], none came back positive for the bacteria that causes melioidosis,” The Hill wrote.

Doesn’t matter.

This is an alarming situation. We know this because the media are reporting the alarm.

“Alarming CDC report says new tropical disease had killed two in US,” The Hill reported. It’s alarming, all right.

Lockdowns must ensue.

The brainiacs at the World Health Organization are confident, however, these lockdowns will speedily flatten the curve, so that we can all return to normal — and that if everybody does the patriotic duty and stays home, and stays out of work, and stays out of the business of questioning the scientists and medical bureaucrats, that this return to normalcy will come in a matter of two weeks.

Or two years.

Or somewhere in between.

“CDC has collected and tested more than 100 samples from products, soil, and water in and around the patients’ homes,” the CDC reported. “No samples have yet been positive for the bacteria Burkholderia pseudomallei, which causes melioidosis.”

But they’ll keep looking ’til they find ‘em! In the meanwhile, Americans are asked to continue to wear their triple-layer face masks. Just until the curve’s flattened. Just until the next stay-at-home election season guarantees a Democrat stronghold in office. 

Just for a couple of weeks — or maybe more.

Anyhow, on that, the CDC is certain. 

• Cheryl Chumley can be reached at cchumley@washingtontimes.com or on Twitter, @ckchumley. Listen to her podcast “Bold and Blunt” by clicking HERE. And never miss her column; subscribe to her newsletter by clicking HERE. Her latest book, “Socialists Don’t Sleep: Christians Must Rise Or America Will Fall,” is available by clicking HERE.