SIOUX FALLS, S.D. (AP) - It’s in times like these that Megan Feiock normally would have reached for a drink.
Some of her income stream evaporated overnight. Her two kids are now learning from their living room. She’s trying to entertain her boys, check on her friends, maintain a mortgage business and keep herself sane, all from the confines of their Sioux falls home.
She’s grateful she’s taking on the COVID-19 crisis while sober.
“I would be unmotivated, unfulfilled, bored, angry if I drank,” said Feiock, 45, who referred to herself as a problem drinker. “I haven’t felt the need to drink. I know what my triggers are. We can’t control a lot right now, but what we can control is our reactions.”
Addiction and mental illness are in themselves isolating. Add in the extended time cooped up at home brought by social distancing measures and school and business closures and the temptation to use may grow.
Recovery and counseling services across the nation have gone digital, offering video conference or phone calls as a replacement for regular one-on-one sessions or group meetings. While some accountability and community are still there, the lack of human interaction can leave a void that some may turn to a substance to fill.
“You have to find the glimmer,” says Feiock of the road to recovery. “You have to find what you can.”
The 45-year-old saw herself turning to alcohol to cope with stress and wanted to catch herself before it turned into a full-blown addiction. Last year, she reached out to Face It Together, a Sioux Falls-based organization that practices peer mentoring for people with addictions and their families.
Feiock’s peer coach, Amber Thomas, told the Argus Leader she and her clients have been adjusting to Zoom meetings from their homes as opposed to the calming green walls and supportive surroundings of the Face It offices.
Some addicts are struggling to cope.
“The pandemic has physically isolated us even more than the emotional isolation we’ve already felt as addicts,” Thomas said. “Addiction thrives on chaos, and that’s what we find ourselves in.”
‘Connection is the main thing’
Kevin Bergheim misses going to the movies.
It was one of his favorite hobbies, one of the ways he passed time in the early stages of sobriety.
The 50-year-old Glory House resident is glad he’s getting through the COVID-19 crisis sober but misses the in-person interactions of group and personal counseling and other activities.
“You have to keep your mind busy, so you don’t go back to doing what you were doing,” he said. “It’s easy to go back to the way things were, to think, ‘Oh, I’ll have a drink.’”
All counseling and group sessions have been moved to online, and many clients have lost their jobs, said Glory House program coordinator Kelly Cleveringa, all of which is a loss of structure and some things to look forward to.
Clients have regular Glory House-required counseling and programming via phone or video conference. The facility was able to get its telehealth services up and running within 24 hours, Cleveringa said, something that’s been a benefit.
Residents have been encouraged to exercise around the Glory House campus, but Cleveringa can tell they miss the regular human interaction and other activities.
“A big part of recovery is staying busy and staying active, and relearning, ‘What are some things that I like to do and find things that make me happy without drugs or alcohol?’” Cleveringa said.
Bergheim sometimes takes each day by the hour. His work hours at Perkins were cut, but he managed to pick up a few hours here and there for a private contractor. He tries to keep in touch with his elderly parents in Madison.
He’s been trying to fill his time with television, puzzles, scrolling the internet. He picked up in-line skating and is working on the tricky art of stopping.
Glory House residents can still see each other and eat together in the dining room if they follow social distancing guidelines. Some are getting creative in how they pass the time, including a few male residents who created a drum group, Ho Pejuta.
They were even featured on a Facebook page called Social Distance Powwow, which has a following of over 160,000 nationwide.
Bergheim has been trying to keep his head up and think positively. He doesn’t let himself consume too much news. Staying sober is hard enough, he said, and the constant barrage of negative news isn’t good for his mental health.
“Our situation right now makes it uniquely simple for people to stay in their unhealthy comfort zone,” said Thomas, the Face It Together peer coach. “Connection is the main thing for recovery. It’s very difficult for people to find connection right now.”
Breeding new addictions
Addiction and recovery bring other unique challenges during the pandemic.
People who have smoked or used alcohol or other substances for years may have weakened immune systems, compromised lungs, putting them at higher risk if they were to contract the virus, according to Annals of Internal Medicine, an academic medical journal published by the American College of Physicians.
But others around Sioux Falls are more worried about what the crisis could mean for the future. With reports nationally of increased drinking to deal with COVID-related stress, counselors are concerned about dangerous habits developing.
They worry the quick access to the liquor cabinet, lack of a structured schedule and staying at home might lead to more people developing an alcohol dependence.
“We’re all staying at home, and a lot of us have anxiety,” Thomas said. “The isolation and anxiety and the ‘Oh why not,’ I fear, is going to breed newer addictions and new problem drinking. Be careful. Keep your mental and physical health at the forefront.”
The South Dakota Department of Social Services is preparing for “increased substance use,” said cabinet secretary Laurie Gill.
The department recently received an emergency grant to address mental and substance use disorders during COVID-19 from the federal Department of Health and Human Services. The money will be made available to the 11 community mental health centers and 34 contracted substance use disorder treatment agencies across the state, Gill said.
Face It Together also provides coaching for family and friends of those with addictions, and that’s one of the most difficult things right now, Thomas said.
“They’re trapped in a house with them,” she said. “It’s kind of a nightmare (for them). They don’t know where to go to get away from it. They can’t stand the negativity and yelling anymore.”
Thomas advised people to not engage with their loved one during the peak of their use, and to wait until they calm down to have a conversation.
“You’re not losing if you walk out of the room,” she said. “Recognize the addiction isn’t that person, and it’s not a reflection of their love for you.”
‘Perfect storm in front of me’
On an optimistic note, social distancing amid the pandemic has provided a few learning and growth opportunities.
Thomas said she’s been able to better identify each client’s different personality traits and how they deal with anxieties, giving her a new challenge as a coach.
“I can tell they appreciate the fact they’re going through this in recovery rather than deep in addiction,” Thomas said.
Feiock is taking each day as a new opportunity, focusing on an hour-a-day mantra. If she and her kids can focus on one activity for one hour, they can look back and say they did something positive that day, a key ingredient to staying sober and mentally healthy.
“I’ve got the perfect storm in front of me,” Feiock said. “Find ways to love yourself. We’ll survive it. That’s an opportunity I think people are missing. Instead of asking, ‘How can I pass the time?’ it should be about reconnecting.”
Bergheim is grateful for his new part-time job and regular phone calls with his parents.
“I am very proud of myself,” Bergheim said. “I think if I can get through all of this and stay sober, I can achieve pretty much anything I want to.”
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