OPINION:
If there’s anything positive that has come from the premature death of basketball legend Kobe Bryant, it’s that attention has focused on the relationship between fathers and daughters.
Mr. Bryant was a dad of girls — four, in fact — and by all accounts, was a wonderful father to them. In a special father-daughter outing that tragically ended in a fiery crash, one of the beloved girls perished with her daddy.
ESPN’s Zelle Duncan recently recounted that she once asked Mr. Bryant how he would feel if he had a fifth daughter and he responded, “I would have five more girls if I could. I’m a girl dad.” This simple story caused both famous and not-so-famous fathers to begin sharing photos of themselves with their daughters on social media, and #GirlDad quickly began trending.
When high-profile deaths of those we consider too young to die hit the news, many people often stop — if only briefly — to take stock of what is truly important in life.
Highly successful businessman Barry Meguiar (of Meguiar’s car wax) runs a ministry called “Ignite America.” He published a beautifully moving tribute to Mr. Bryant in which he reminded readers that a million years from now it won’t matter at what age we die — what will matter is how well we lived. Did we serve others, love unconditionally, and give sacrificially? Did we point people to God for peace and meaning in their lives?
Mr. Meguiar’s blog posts have made me stop and think many times before. (You can sign up for free to receive them at IgniteAmerica.com).
One of his videos changed my life forever with this simple thought: “Every interaction you have with someone can either draw them closer to God or push them away.” It’s made me mindful that even the shortest of conversations or the briefest of interactions can bless others. Through thoughtful words and actions I can offer hope and show love, or I can cause pain with a careless comment or momentary display of an ill temper.
When Mr. Meguiar wrote about Mr. Bryant, it made me stop and think about how faulty men and women (because we are all faulty) can inspire others to love well.
The wake of Mr. Bryant’s death and the revelation of his powerful devotion to his girls is a poignant time for dads, in particular, to reflect on whether they are pouring enough time into their own daughters, to analyze what messages they convey to their girls through words and deeds.
Dads, do you intentionally let your daughters know that they have infinite value and limitless potential?
The impact that a father has on his daughter’s self image cannot be overstated. As the first male in her life, you are the one who shows her how she deserves to be treated. You are the one who sets the expectations of how a man should behave.
The truth is, girls crave their father’s love and devotion, and when they fail to receive it, the painful loss can harm them for the rest of their lives. A serious lack of fatherly love also can send them “searching for love in all the wrong places.”
World-renowned child psychologist and beloved family counselor to millions around the world, Dr. James Dobson wrote two books that are life-giving to fathers and daughters. (Visit DrJamesDobson.org.) Every father of young girls who seeks to understand the importance of the relationship and needs practical help building it should read “Bringing Up Girls.”
“Dads and Daughters,” another Dobson bestseller, is a treasure for fathers of girls and those who have realized late in life that they may have been too busy, too selfish or too ignorant to give their daughters the attention that they deserved.
And herein lies a beautiful truth: Dads, as long as there is breath left in you, it’s never too late to start showing your daughter — no matter how old she is — that she is treasured.
Yes, the years lost cannot be replaced, but don’t let the past steal from you the potential of today and the happiness of tomorrow.
In the aftermath of the sad loss of a national star and great father, a message resounds for all dads: Become the father of your daughter’s dreams.
• Rebecca Hagelin can be reached at rebecca@rebeccahagelin.com.
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