HARRISBURG, S.D. (AP) - Brayden Mager wasn’t feeling well when Sami Farrell, Emma Malcom, Lily Petersen and Jace Poelstra came to visit him at Sanford Children’s Hospital in early September.
But you wouldn’t have known it that afternoon.
The infectiously cheerful 12-year-old, who was awaiting a heart transplant at the time, was all smiles when the four captains of the Harrisburg soccer team entered the room. He proudly sported maroon pants in honor of his favorite team.
“We all went in thinking he might not be super willing to see us,” said Poelstra, a senior defender for the Tigers. “But when we got there, he was extremely happy. He was just like, ’Oh my gosh. They’re here!’”
Knowing his love for superheroes, the girls brought Brayden new toys and a hat - which he wore for the entire visit. He felt special that the “big girls” were taking time for him, Brayden’s mother, Lyndsey Mager, said.
A week after the girls’ visit, Brayden passed away.
His final days were brightened by the support of Harrisburg’s players and coach, who rallied around him and brought him closer to the game he loved.
“We got to see someone who we honored at one of our games who wasn’t able to be there with us,” Farrell said. “He has really inspired us this whole season.”
Harrisburg coach Desiree Parmenter connected her team with Brayden as part of a season-long outreach that hits close to home, and the message is catching on.
“Dez is really focused on things outside of soccer, because we’re not going to be playing soccer for all of our lives,” Petersen said. “We’re going to carry on the lessons that we’ve learned throughout our high school careers for the rest of our lives.”
Inspired by her son Jaiden who has cerebral palsy, Parmenter introduced a “Players of the Game” program at the beginning of the season, the Argus Leader reported.
Understanding how significant it is for her son to be recognized, the coach organized the pregame ceremony as a way to give special needs students who are passionate about soccer an opportunity to experience the moment of walking onto the field before a game.
“My goal (in the classroom) is to know that they know that I believe in them,” said Parmenter, a special education teacher at Horizon Elementary. “I apply it to coaching as well. If they have that one person who believes in them, then we can be successful at anything. “
After networking with other special ed teachers, Parmenter decided they needed to spoil their Players of the Game. So in addition to joining the team on the field for pregame introductions and team huddle, the honorees also receive a jersey, a signed shirt and a soccer ball.
“I think we needed a visual representation of what was actually going to happen,” Parmenter said. “It all came together when you saw the experience and got to see that kid’s smile. That’s when you went, ’Oh, this is going to be awesome.’”
Parmenter wants her players to have an impact beyond the field.
Each season, the team tries to work in at least 3-4 volunteer experiences. This year, their volunteer work took them to the Harrisburg Food Pantry and the Ronald McDonald House. Both experiences brought the players closer together, but Parmenter recalled a particularly valuable life lesson from their time at the Ronald McDonald House.
The girls were trying to make Scotcheroos for the families after their visit, but realized they were short on an ingredient. It was by no means a dire situation, but Parmenter reminded the girls that giving up wasn’t an option. They had to get creative and figure something else out.
The solution? Chocolate peanut butter Rice Krispies balls.
“I’m here for these kids. I believe in them,” Parmenter said. “I want to be that person who can inspire kids to do more… At the end of the day, the stats matter, but the impact of the kids and the culture is more important to me.”
Though the wins-and-losses are secondary, the players’ growth as individuals did translate to on-the-field success in 2018.
The stats are slowly coming along for the Tigers, but what’s most important and what they all take the most pride in is the impact they’ve had away from the pitch.
“It’s not just the soccer portion we’re working on,” Malcom said. “We’re trying to build the community as a whole.”
It was through the Players of the Game program that the Tigers were introduced to Brayden.
Born with a chromosome abnormality that affected his heart, hearing, and learning abilities, he had become close friends with Jaiden. Though both boys were nonverbal, they’d formed a special relationship.
“They lit up when they were around each other,” said Lyndsey Mager of her son and Jaiden. “You could often find Brayden pushing Jaiden around and both boys would always have huge smiles on their faces. Jaiden was Brayden’s ears and Brayden was Jaiden’s legs.”
Parmenter, who also got to know Brayden through Dakota Alliance Soccer Stars, was inspired by that connection.
“I knew we had to do something for him,” said the coach, whose team decided to dedicate their entire season to Brayden.
Though unable to be there in person, he was honored at the team’s Tiger Bowl game against O’Gorman. The Harrisburg players, all of whom had his name written on the inside of their wrists with a Superman logo, attached a cape to a jersey with his name on it.
Two days later, Farrell, Malcom, Petersen and Poelstra went to the Sanford Castle to meet their superhero.
“They had tears of joy in their eyes,” Parmenter recalled. “Just hearing them speak, you can tell it really made a significant impact on them and at the end of the day, I want to make a slight impact on every kid. If I can say, ’Oh they remember that moment,’ then I did my job for them.’”
For his memorial service, Brayden’s family requested everyone wear either Disney or superhero attire as a way to honor his memory.
The soccer players happily obliged.
“Seeing them wear superhero capes to his service was amazing,” Lyndsey Mager said. “I am sure he was smiling from above to see everyone dressed up.”
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Information from: Argus Leader, http://www.argusleader.com
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