ERIE, Pa. (AP) - David John DeMarco, one of the owners of Modern Dental Group in Erie, always felt that he might have disappointed his father, the late John J. DeMarco, M.D., an Erie obstetrician, who delivered more than 12,000 babies.
His father had hoped that he would follow in his footsteps, he said.
DeMarco, 59, said he made it a point never to choose a career for any of his five children.
“I think it would have been counterproductive,” he said. “I think every child has to do their own thinking and they have to like what they do.”
But DeMarco, like the other fathers featured in this story, counts himself as lucky that he’s had the opportunity to work alongside his children in the family business.
Such arrangements, although relatively rare in modern American life, were once commonplace in an economy built on agriculture.
The tradition remains strong among the Amish, where children often grow up expecting to take over the family farm or business.
“Tradition isn’t a strong enough word,” said Andrew Troyer, owner of Troyer’s Rope Co. and Bird’s Paradise in Conneautville. “In our Amish community, it’s a very precious thing.”
Troyer, 61, who has worked alongside two of his daughters in the business, said the operation is now led by his son, Adam, and two of his sons-in-law.
In his view, this is life as it should be.
“It leads us together for serving the Lord,” he said. “We are to train up our children in the way they should go.”
The family business
David and Lisa DeMarco’s children were left to make their own decisions.
Ultimately, sons David James DeMarco and Chris DeMarco would become dentists, while daughter Lisa DeMarco would become a dental hygienist. All three work for Modern Dental owners David John DeMarco and his partner, Shawn Casella.
Sons David, 33, and Chris DeMarco, 30, confirm there was never the slightest pressure to join the family business.
Their decision might have been rooted, strangely enough, in not only the work they saw their father do, but a shared love of fixing and restoring cars.
“We have always been a mechanical family, and dentistry is a blend of engineering and medicine,” David James DeMarco said. “As dentists, we are actively fixing things all day long.”
Like her brothers, Lisa DeMarco, 23, always liked working with her hands. When a year of college left her with no idea what she wanted to do, she decided to spend a few days shadowing a dental hygienist at her dad’s office.
“I loved it,” she said.
Her friends are less than envious, she admits. But she doesn’t care.
“I have been here almost two years, and it’s been awesome. I have looked up to my dad forever,” she said. “He is one of the smartest people I know. He has been the most supportive guy in the whole world.”
For her brother, David, working with his father and Casella, another trusted mentor, has given him a chance to learn from their experiences without the fear of admitting what he doesn’t know to a potentially judgmental employer.
“Having him as a mentor, but also a father - I can call him about work and talk to him about cases and how to hone your skills,” he said. “That is something I never would have had at another practice. Because of our relationship as a father and son, I am always comfortable asking.”
Working together has also given him a better understanding of his father as a man who often worked long hours during the week when he was a kid, but along with his mother did everything possible to set aside weekends for their family.
While three of the five DeMarco offspring work together, it’s not uncommon for them to spend a portion of the weekend together or with their parents.
“He lives two blocks from me,” David James DeMarco said of his father. “We fish. We are all kind of high energy, so we spend time building fence, mowing lawns and doing weekend projects.”
If 30-year-old Chris DeMarco had any hesitation about joining the family dental business, it didn’t last long.
“I think there are always thoughts that creep into your mind, but we all get along,” he said. “We are all pretty busy and there is not much time to get in each other’s hair.”
And there is something special, he said, about being surrounded by trusted mentors, especially his father, to teach him the finer points of his life’s work.
“He is an awesome mentor,” Chris DeMarco said. “He has always been very mechanical. People don’t realize how much this translates to this.”
David John DeMarco, who chose not to follow in his father’s footsteps, seems equally proud of his two sons who chose different careers. John DeMarco is director of The Presque Isle Partnership while James DeMarco is in real estate development.
For his part, the elder DeMarco counts himself as fortunate on this Father’s Day for his family of five children, all of whom live in Erie.
“I’m really lucky,” he said. “They all hang out together. It’s amazing.”
Call it a bonus that he sees three of the five on a daily basis, passing them in the hall as they go about their shared work.
There are practical benefits to the arrangement. DeMarco said he and Casella have mentored his sons together, answered their questions, made them better at their craft.
“We need the young blood as much as the young blood needs us,” he said.
More than that, he said, he realizes that there is something unique about the relationship he has with his children.
“That is so special,” he said. “I am working with the people I love.”
Sharing what he knows
The same can be said for Erie contractor and developer Dale Crenshaw, the 55-year-old owner of Crenshaw Brothers Construction, which has been working recently on the 40-unit Parade Street Commons.
While his daughter, 26-year-old Camille Crenshaw, runs the property management side of the business, the older Crenshaw works daily with his 24-year-old son, Aaron, whom he describes as a foreman supervisor or superintendent who is learning the business “from the ground up.”
Aaron Crenshaw is less clear about his title, but clear that as the son of the owner he’s supposed to do whatever needs to be done.
“Boss’s son - that is my job title,” he laughed. “I do literally everything. It’s very challenging. He (his father) often loses track of the line between son and employee. I will do anything. It’s all in love so I don’t complain.”
Dale Crenshaw, who learned the refuse business from his father - before the family turned to construction - doesn’t deny for a moment that he pushes his family further and harder than it might be fair to push an employee.
But he makes no apologies.
“If my old man was tough on me at the end of the day, I think it’s the best thing that can happen,” he said.
For Dale Crenshaw, working with his children isn’t about having someone to push around; it’s about having someone with whom he can share what he knows.
And it’s about an endless number of second chances.
“Nobody is tougher than Dad at the end of the day,” he said.
“But it’s tough love the world is not going to give you. If you can learn it and listen to the old man, you’ll always get another chance.”
For all his joking about the 60-hour work weeks, the time spent ordering materials, pouring concrete, surveying worksites and the lines his father tends to cross, Aaron Crenshaw said he doesn’t have any complaints.
“He keeps me working,” he said. “He keeps molding me.”
Call me Dad
Mazza Vineyards, one of Pennsylvania’s earliest wineries when it was licensed in North East in 1972, has grown into one of the state’s largest with both a brewery and distillery operation and multiple locations in Pennsylvania and New York.
While the business is owned by Robert and Kathleen Mazza, their son, Mario Mazza, 38, serves as vice president and general manager while their daughter, 35-year-old Vanessa, handles social media and tasting room training.
Mario Mazza, who returned to the business 13 years ago after earning a degree and training in Australia, finds himself handling many of the day-to-day decisions since his father started operating the restaurant at the North East Marina.
For the older Mazza, stepping back has been a conscious decision.
“He is pretty much running it on a day-to-day basis,” Robert Mazza said. “That has given me the opportunity to step away and I’ve given him quite a bit of latitude to take it in a certain direction.”
Working with his son has been “gratifying,” Robert Mazza said, noting that the business has enjoyed some of its strongest growth in recent years.
“There have been some challenging moments. We will call them spirited disagreements,” Mario Mazza said.
When those disagreements involve business they sometimes call on the services of Don Moore, a business consultant, who happens to be an old family friend.
The younger Mazza said he feels prepared to run the business.
But he knows something else. The father he loves is also one of the best mentors he could find.
“I’ve had the great fortune to come into this great business opportunity,” he said. “I really have a lot of respect with what he was able to do with nothing.”
Mario Mazza said he realizes one of his father’s greatest gifts might be difficult to acquire by simply watching.
“I continue to realize he has a great ability or vision to see what can be possible that most of us miss,” he said. “I am hoping that is genetic and the light switch gets turned on at some point.”
And how does this father feel about coming to work with both his son and his daughter?
“It’s very gratifying,” he said. “It’s also good to see there is some succession planning that is going to be occurring. We worked our entire lives to build this.”
When it comes to his son, Mario, however, he registers one complaint.
“You are father and son, but in the workplace it’s a little bit different,” he said. “One is the boss and the other is a subordinate to a certain extent.”
But Robert Mazza, who remains president of the company, reluctantly admits he wishes his son would stop calling him Bob.
“It’s still Dad,” he said. “I would rather hear Dad than Bob.”
Troyer, whose company sells rope and birdhouses across the country, said sales have grown since his son Adam took over as “the lead horse.”
But Troyer, who remembers his 16-year-old son watching over his shoulder, said that’s not what he likes best about a lifestyle that finds him working with his family with the promise of grandchildren entering the business one day.
It brings to mind a word and a sentiment the Amish are urged to avoid.
“You are talking to what the worldly people would call a proud daddy,” Troyer said.
But Troyer doesn’t consider himself a worldly person.
“I would say blessed,” he said.
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Information from: Erie Times-News, http://www.goerie.com
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