Well, at least Wayne Rooney doesn’t mind playing in the same city with John Wall.
While Washington Wizards sufferers watched as the NBA continued to pass them by without even an acknowledgment of existence, the city welcomed its newest superstar, English soccer legend Rooney, who has signed a $13 million contract to play for D.C. United in Major League Soccer.
“I think the club has got great history,” Rooney said at his introductory press conference Monday. “It’s been tough over the last few years and the club — it doesn’t need to look back at the history it’s got, it needs to try and create more history. As I’ve said many times, I’m not here to see out my last few years. I’m here to compete, I’m here to win and that’s the way I’ve always played.”
It’s almost believable, coming on the heels of the Washington Capitals Stanley Cup championship, which has for now muted all the jokes about Washington’s title futility. And, if we are being fair, that history of futility doesn’t include the United, which won four MLS championships from 1996 to 2004. We just have never taken those seriously.
Maybe the presence of Rooney and a new state-of-the-art soccer stadium — Audi Field, scheduled to open July 14 (in the midst of Major League Baseball’s All-Star Week in Washington) will change the conversation. The Capitals first Stanley Cup in 44 years seems to open the door to all possibilities.
Well, not all possibilities.
AUDIO: Dodgers legend and DC native Maury Wills with Thom Loverro
Rooney said he picked Washington as his MLS destination in part because it’s a good place to hide. “I’ve been to places like L.A. and New York and it’s too hectic,” he said. “It’s like London. For me, I’ve never fancied going to live in London. I need my own space to get away from things when I need to. Washington seemed to give me that opportunity to do that.”
Here’s a great place to hide, Wayne — Capital One Arena during Wizards games. It’s the city’s version of the witness protection program.
D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser came to Rooney’s press conference, declaring it, “Wayne Rooney Day” in Washington. She called the city the “sports capital” of America, mentioning the Stanley Cup and “we think we have a World Series in our future as well.”
Not even a politician was foolish enough to mention the Wizards and an NBA title.
The nearly 40-year walk in the desert for Washington basketball fans will continue for the foreseeable future.
Any delusional hopes of something other than the purgatory of early round playoff exits were dashed Monday when the news came out that DeMarcus “Boogie” Cousins had signed a one-year, $5.3 million contract with the defending NBA champions, the Golden State Warriors.
The signing sparked an outcry around the league about the rich getting richer and the futility of all but a small handful of NBA teams having a real chance at winning an NBA title, with the Warriors having won three of the last four.
Do I need to remind you that the Warriors were the Wizards from 1992 to 2012, with just three winning seasons during that period? And that changed after they hired a new general manager, Bob Myers, in 2012?
By that time, Ernie Grunfeld was into his ninth year as the Wizards arsonist-fireman, the NBA exec whose resume is filling with setting fires and then getting credit for putting them out.
You want outrage? How about Wizards fans, whose franchise hasn’t won 50 games in almost 40 years and also failed to get beyond the second round of the playoffs during that stretch as well? Who have watched the eras of Bird and Magic, Michael Jordan, Shaq and Kobe and LeBron James, now entering the Los Angeles Lakers phase of his career, come and go with little in the way of results and now even less in hope?
What little hope there was came in the form of Cousins, who for years Wizards fans were convinced wanted to come to Washington to play with his former Kentucky teammate Wall, and would be the missing piece to take this team to another level.
That was delusional, of course. Cousins is a loser, a malcontent who would have reintroduced the knucklehead factor back in Washington — which at least would have been more entertaining than the big little three of Wall, Bradley Beal and Otto Porter — unless Kelly Oubre’s clown act amuses you. Perhaps the only franchise that could absorb Cousins and get the most out of him is the Warriors.
It turned out, though, the delusional part was that Cousins wanted to come to Washington to play with Wall. According to reports, he never even considered the Wizards as an option.
Who does?
For all of Wall’s chest-thumping as one of the greatest point guards in the NBA, no one seems to want to come to play with him. Superstars attract other players, and Wall has been unable to attract anyone, from Al Horford to seemingly now his buddy Boogie.
In fact, Wall seems to have the opposite effect — people seem to want to get away from playing with him.
It’s been reported that big man Marcin Gortat, recently traded to the Los Angeles Clippers for Austin Rivers, wanted out of town in large part because he was frustrated with Wall’s play. And now Mike Scott, who became a valuable bench player for Washington last year and was reportedly a top priority for the Wizards to resign, got out of town and signed a one-year deal with the Clippers.
Soccer fans in Washington should hope that Rooney has the opposite impact. “I’m sure there’s more players going to come in,” he told reporters.
That would be the anti-John Wall effect.
• Thom Loverro’s weekly “Cigars & Curveballs” is available Wednesdays on iTunes, Google Play and the reVolver podcast network.
• Thom Loverro can be reached at tloverro@washingtontimes.com.
Please read our comment policy before commenting.