ANALYSIS/OPINION:
For obvious reasons, football analogies are endless.
So many missed opportunities by D.C. teams.
No “Hail Mary” passes.
No “diesels,” a la John Riggins.
No Doug Williams or Joe Theismann.
The last time one of the city’s teams was in the red zone was way back in 1978, when Congress passed a constitutional amendment that gave the owners of the other 50 teams (states) seven years to approve the play for statehood by Team D.C.
The quarterback (Walter Fauntroy) was sacked, and the play failed.
Yet then, as today, D.C. players still can’t get out of their own way to devise a winning offensive strategy. (Where’s Bill Belichick when you need him?)
With Republicans controlling the ball in the House and the Senate, and Donald Trump in the White House, the District’s players have yet again stumbled.
D.C. Delegate Eleanor Holmes Norton, the District’s nonvoting representative in Congress, ran out of the dugout to make an annual play in the name of voting rights.
Mayor Muriel Bowser, the District’s top cheerleader, grabbed a microphone to proclaim that Congress should keep its hands off the D.C. budget.
D.C. Council Chairman Phil Mendelson tried a smooth handoff of the legislative ball. On the Death with Dignity law, he, too, told Congress to step away.
“This is not a federal issue and indeed is similar to the law of several other states,” Mr. Mendelson said recently. “It has no impact on lawmakers on [Capitol] Hill. This legislation solely affects residents of the District.”
Well, kudos to Mr. Mendelson for stepping up — although he needs to reread the U.S. Constitution before he tries to run with the ball.
The Death with Dignity Act is, in fact, a federal issue, and as such Congress has the power and the authority to consider it.
And just in case Mr. Mendelson needs reminding, the power and the authority are granted in Article I, Section 8, Clause 17 of the U.S. Constitution — the same document that Congress gave the District an opportunity to team with states to win statehood.
Perhaps the Democratic, liberal and progressive team can’t develop new strategies — or even lead the city to the promised land — is because they never shredded the playbook back in the 1980s. They must still have a few in a dustbin in City Hall. It may even be in the mayor’s suite, where flies on the walls can hear the echoes of everything that was ever said in the huddle. (At least Matt Ryan has a great arm.)
Maybe it’s because the Redskins cannot technically call themselves a Washington team.
Maybe it’s because D.C. leaders don’t even want to call them Redskins.
Anyway, D.C. cannot run with the ball unless Congress says so — and that is how it is whether the issue is abortion, education, health, public safety or assisted suicide.
While Congress might not choose to debate whether Superman actually leapt a tall building in a single bound, it most definitely can determine how tall those buildings are.
The Super Bowl between Team D.C. vs. Congress won’t end until the 115th wraps up, and that’s when it begins anew.
The odds of a D.C. team winning is highly unlikely. After all, that bipartisan trick play of 1973, the one called the Home Rule Act that granted D.C. independence, is still in the history books.
Are you ready for some football?
• Deborah Simmons can be contacted at dsimmons@washingtontimes.com.
• Deborah Simmons can be reached at dsimmons@washingtontimes.com.
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