SALEM, Ore. (AP) - Don and Christina Philipp give the two girls hugs, watch them board the bus, wave goodbye, wipe away tears and wonder whether they’ll ever see them again.
It’s a sentimental scene that plays out each year for the Salem couple, who has opened their home and hearts to more than 70 foreign exchange students from Japan, China, Taiwan, South Korea and Vietnam.
“It’s the day we all dread,” Don Philipp said. “It’s like a little piece of our heart goes home with each one of these kids. We wonder how we have any heart left.”
This is the 17th year they’ve hosted exchange students. Kana Miyake and Yui Hajiri, who stayed for two weeks this summer, were Nos. 71 and 72.
Don and Christina, who have been married 31 years, have no children of their own. Christina was unable to conceive because of a genetic problem.
The exchange students are their children.
“We felt like it was filling a void for us not having kids,” Don said. “It’s kind of like adopting.”
They get to enjoy the blessings of having children in their home while skipping some of the challenging stages.
“We didn’t have any diapers to change. We didn’t have any terrible twos to go through,” Christina said.
The students they host are teenagers who come with a different set of challenges, but most are well-behaved. The Philipps did have to kick one boy out of the house - he was placed with another host family - because he abused their cat and skipped school.
The couple stays in touch with many of their students through social media channels. They were flabbergasted three years ago when one of their girls invited them to Japan and paid for all their travel expenses.
Mizuki Kawanuma told them it was a way for her and her parents to thank them for loving and caring for her like she was their own.
INFLUENCES THAT LAST A LIFETIME
Mizuki left an impression on the Philipps, too, and on their kitchen.
Her artwork still decorates the upper wall, with whimsical caricatures of favorite memories from her stay in 2005-06: An amusement ride with Don at the Oregon State Fair. Getting her nails done with Christina. Her favorite American movie, “Grease.”
The last night they were in Japan, Mizuki gathered 20 of the couple’s other children for a party. Among them was Takashige Kurihara, who stayed with them in 2000-01. He reminded them what an influence they had on his life.
“I want you to know if it wasn’t for you, I would not be doing what I’m doing. I would not be the man I turned out to be without you guys,” he told them.
Christina wiped away tears while Don recalled the moment.
Takashige, now 31, has a special place in their hearts because he was their first. He gave them a copy of his teaching diploma, written in Japanese, and it hangs in the entryway of their northeast Salem home.
“We treated him like he was our own - not a guest, not a visitor,” Don said. “He became our son. One of the hardest things was to see him go at the end of the year.”
No matter how long students stay, whether it’s for two weeks or up to two years, the Philipps can’t help but get attached.
The walls of their house, like those of many families, are plastered with photos of their children. Giant photo buttons purchased at the fair are prominently displayed, including one with Michelle Zeng from China. In April, she launched a GoFundMe page for her host father.
Don is undergoing treatment for multiple myeloma, which affects plasma cells in the bone and is sometimes called bone marrow cancer. Although they have insurance, his medical bills continue to pile up as he faces another round of chemotherapy and an eventual bone marrow transplant.
Other smiling faces on their walls include students from Japan’s Fujimi High School, the all-girls school where Kana and Yui attend, and a young woman who graduated from Willamette University College of Law and now has a 1-year-old daughter, the Philipps’ first grandchild.
The decor also includes mementos they have received over the years, including Asian fans and handmade thank you cards. An oversized Mother’s Day card from one girl to Christina is hard to miss. That student attended Chemeketa Community College and is now a schoolteacher.
Leslie Berning, a host family recruiter, has known the Philipps since the beginning.
“Don and Chris started out as one of my host families, and they quickly became my friends,” she said. “They come to my birthday parties. I go to their house for Thanksgiving.”
Other families have hosted as many students and for as long, but few offer a more genuine experience.
“They don’t have the fanciest house or the nicest car of all the host families, but they have so much love to give,” Berning said. “Their hearts are so big.”
One year they hosted three girls from three different countries, Japan, China and Korea. Fortunately, they all spoke English.
SHOWING STUDENTS A SLICE OF SALEM
The Philipps have slowed down in recent years, no longer doing year-long homestays.
Kana and Yui were among 51 girls from Japan who participated in a short-term English and Homestay Program facilitated by Cultural Gateways and held on the Willamette campus. They spent mornings attending class, afternoons enjoying group outings to places like the State Capitol and the Oregon Coast, and evenings with host families.
Don and Christina took Kana and Yui roller skating at Oaks Park in Portland, but just as exciting to the 15-year-old girls was a trip to WinCo Foods in Salem.
Kana’s mouth dropped open when she saw the bountiful layout of the store, and the two girls snapped photos as if they were visiting a historic landmark. Don explained that they don’t have large grocery stores like that in Japan.
The Philipps introduced them to salads and roast beef, and the girls had tacos for the first time. Kana’s favorite food during her stay was hamburgers and Yui’s was s’mores.
Don and Christina try to do as much as they can with their exchange students, even though they both work. Don works in the office and warehouse for DeLaval, a company that develops, manufactures and markets dairy farming equipment, and Christina is a housekeeper in the dorms at Willamette.
They’ve heard other host parents regret not being able to commit long term because they just don’t have time.
“We find the time. It doesn’t matter how busy we are,” Don said. “We could have said, ’Sorry, we can’t do it this year, I’ve got cancer.’ But I’m not going to stop living and doing what we like to do.”
Despite the circumstances this year, and no matter how much their hearts ached when the bus departed, they never regret giving their time and opening their hearts.
“We know every time they leave we’ve made an impact on them and they’ve made an impact on us,” Christina said.
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Information from: Statesman Journal, https://www.statesmanjournal.com
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