RICHMOND, Ind. (AP) - Some view Facebook as a place to find pictures and jokes.
But Jerry Wilde found a lifesaver.
Thanks to a generous stranger who discovered a Facebook page and then took action, Wilde has had five more years to enjoy a more active life.
A woman was inspired to donate one of her kidneys to the ailing Richmond man, ending his dialysis treatments and allowing him to resume activities that many take for granted.
He’s packed quite a bit into those five years, including remarrying, spending time with his children and earning a promotion at work.
Wilde, who’s now dean of the Indiana University East School of Education, received the kidney transplant in February 2012.
The Palladium-Item recently brought Wilde and his wife, Heather, together with kidney donor Becky Melton to discuss the five-year anniversary of the transplant.
How it all began
The path to Melton’s donation began in 2011 through social media.
One of Wilde’s former students, Leah Hostalet, noticed Wilde had made a plea for his life on Facebook and reconnected with him. She created the “Find A Kidney for Jerry” Facebook page to draw more attention to his need for a kidney donation.
He had inherited a genetic disease that led to a kidney transplant in the early 1990s. However, in 2009, doctors found a cancerous mass growing on his transplanted kidney.
The tumor became bigger than his kidney. A doctor told him he should go buy a lottery ticket, calling Wilde the luckiest man in Indiana since the tumor hadn’t spread.
However, Wilde said he didn’t feel lucky at the time. The educational psychology professor had to begin relying on dialysis treatments to keep him alive.
Wilde was originally optimistic about the possibility of finding another kidney donor, but ran into roadblocks. He was a difficult candidate for a match because of antibodies from his earlier transplant.
Dozens of people he knew underwent testing to see if they would be a suitable donor for him.
Two people were matches, but their health issues disqualified them from donation.
Learning about Wilde’s plight, Hostalet created the public Facebook page specifically to draw attention to his need for a transplant.
Melton found the page on Nov. 18, 2011 - the day it went live - after a friend shared it. She surprised her husband with the idea of donating her kidney to Wilde as soon as he walked through the door that night.
Melton said her husband handled the surprising news fairly well, encouraging her to look into information about donation and what could potentially go wrong.
About two weeks later, she learned she was a match for Wilde.
More tests then were required in Indianapolis. it took until early February before everything was finally approved for a transplant. She said her parents were nervous but supportive through the process.
Wilde said he remembers the day he received the call that things were working out.
“It was not probably my best teaching - I was a little distracted,” he said.
The surgery was scheduled a couple of weeks later, on Feb. 24.
They were the first Facebook-initiated kidney transplant at IU Health University Hospital in Indianapolis.
Neither had complications during their recoveries, and both soon returned to work. Melton is employed at Somerville National Bank in Richmond as a loan closing processor.
Reunion offers chance to look back
Much has changed in the past five years for both Wilde and Melton.
Wilde said it’s hard to believe it’s been five years since the transplant - to him, it seems more like two.
Melton, who was childless before the surgery, now has a 2½-year-old and another child on the way.
Wilde said his first question to Melton when she indicated interest in donating was whether she planned to have children.
However, Melton said she researched to learn about any effects kidney donation could have on childbearing. She discovered a pregnancy after donation could be considered high-risk, but her first nine months went smoothly.
The only change she’s noticed in the five years since the transplant is that she now has to go to the bathroom a little more often.
“I have to go to the bathroom a lot more often,” Wilde joyfully responded. “For a two-year span, I didn’t go to the bathroom once.”
After he returned to work, Wilde said his co-workers began applauding as he slipped out to go to the restroom, even clapping as he tried to exit gracefully during a Faculty Senate meeting.
Luckily for Wilde, the applause eventually ceased as he returned to his routine of teaching educational psychology and writing.
Then, in July 2014, Wilde began serving as interim dean of IU East’s School of Education while continuing to teach. He was named dean in January 2016.
His most recent book, “Hot Stuff to Help Kids: A Guide for Angry, Anxious, or Stressed Students,” was published in 2015.
His personal life also has transformed, as he says he’s now happily remarried with “more animals, more children and less sleep.” He and wife Heather were married in August 2015.
Heather was a student of Wilde’s in 2002 and they eventually became Facebook friends. She followed his health challenges online, and attended a celebration after his transplant. They later began dating.
Wilde said he’s returned to a normal, very healthy and very active life. He still has lab work and checkups every six months in Indianapolis, but his reports have been good.
Doctors stopped following up with Melton after the first year of her donation since she was doing well.
Donation and recovery
Melton said she doesn’t understand why more people don’t donate their kidneys, although she admits she’d never considered the idea “until it was in my face.” She was 26 at the time of the surgery.
After having her first child, Melton could compare the transplant and childbirth.
“Recovery from labor was worse than the donation,” she said.
For Wilde, who’d been so ill, it took a bit longer to recover.
After his surgery, he asked if he could see Melton.
“I was told, ’She’s just down the hall,’” Wilde said. “It seemed like a mile - a long way down the hall.”
They said they had a “herd” of people at the Indianapolis hospital to wish them well. Three of Wilde’s dialysis nurses made the trip.
Their families had what they called a tailgate in the hospital’s parking garage.
Although Wilde and Melton were complete strangers, it turned out they did have some connections they discovered during the donation process.
Melton majored in business at IU East, and she later learned her dad had chatted with Wilde when both were on campus.
In addition, she discovered her sister was Wilde’s neighbor.
And, Wilde’s future wife worked at JACY House in Richmond with Melton’s sister at the time of the transplant.
However, their families became forever linked through Melton’s donation.
While they were in the hospital, Wilde’s sister brought Melton a bracelet as a thank-you gift that she wore for their recent reunion. It features the words of Philemon 1:4, “I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers.”
Wilde is thankful for additional time and energy he can devote to his blended family, which includes children Halie, 24; Anna, 22; Jack, 19; Madison, 17; and Haven, 9.
This summer, their family will have two graduations and a wedding that he’ll get to experience.
He’s reminded how far he’s come when he sees a picture of himself when he was so sick.
“I didn’t look like a person,” he said, noting the gray color of his skin.
He doesn’t miss the years of illness.
“When you’re on dialysis, you’re not living, you’re just existing,” he said. “You’re constantly sick. Just to live life like everybody else is an incredible gift.”
In addition to feeling poorly while on dialysis, Wilde had to follow a restrictive diet that excluded cheese and other dairy products, as well as chocolate.
Wilde is grateful for the extra energy as well as the fun he squeezes into his life now.
He said the transplant helped make it possible for him to become dean at the School of Education, where he started working in 1998. He said he doesn’t know how he could have possibly taken on any extra work when he was so sick, saying the job is hard enough now that he’s healthy.
Wilde said he appreciates how Heather has been vigilant to make sure her husband takes his medication each day, especially when they’re traveling and they’re out of their regular routines.
Need for kidneys continues
Wilde said he’s glad to share his story in hopes that others will undergo testing to see if they’re someone’s match.
“I’ve had lots of people say, ’Becky restores my faith in the goodness of people,’ and I say, ’Me too,’” Wilde said.
Their experience has helped others both locally and nationally facing similar health issues.
In addition to helping Wilde, Hostalet worked on a page called “Find a Kidney for Chad” that resulted in the discovery of a living donor for another local man.
Even though Chad Terhaar from the Centerville area received his kidney in March 2014, people are still liking the page and using it to find information, so it hasn’t been taken down.
Terhaar and Wilde went through dialysis at the same time. Wilde said he felt bad that Terhaar was in his early 20s at the time and going through the treatments too, calling him “just a kid.”
“I’d say, ’What are two good-looking guys like us doing here?’” Wilde said.
Another one of Melton’s friends, a teacher in the Winchester area, donated a kidney to a police officer last year.
Melton said she still receives calls from their transplant coordinator at IU Health, asking if she’ll talk with prospective donors, and she said she’s glad to do so.
After the “Find A Kidney for Jerry” page did its job, Hostalet created the “Find A Kidney Central” page for others seeking information and connections with those willing to “share a spare” kidney.
Hostalet told the Palladium-Item in 2013 that dozens of donors have been discovered nationwide because of the “Find A Kidney Central” page. That page has 9,558 likes today.
However, Wilde and Melton also know the heartbreak of those who didn’t find donors in time. They became acquainted with a single mom from the Dayton area they met through Facebook. That patient died on the third anniversary of Wilde’s transplant, never receiving a kidney donation.
According to National Kidney Foundation, many people who need transplants of organs and tissues cannot get them because of a shortage of donations.
The organization says of the 123,000 Americans currently on the waiting list for a lifesaving organ transplant, more than 101,000 need a kidney. However, only 17,000 people receive one each year. That means every day, 12 people die waiting for a kidney.
Wilde continues to bring attention to his story as he makes Facebook posts near the transplant anniversary. In addition, Melton said friends still tag her in kidney stories they see on social media that they think she’d like to read.
Their story also has received national attention on television. Wilde, Melton and Hostalet were featured in a “Today” segment in 2013. A producer traveled to Hostalet’s Indianapolis home where the trio was interviewed, bringing attention to the need for donors. Wilde, Melton and Hostalet also flew to New York City that year to be filmed for an episode of “The Lisa Oz Show.”
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Source: (Richmond) Palladium-Item, https://pinews.co/2nPE0tf
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Information from: Palladium-Item, https://www.pal-item.com
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