EDITORIAL: U.S. defector to N. Korea: What was I thinking?

OPINION:

Even the goofy among us ought to know better than to believe their own rhetoric. Matthew Miller, 24, of Bakersfield, Calif., wanted to sample socialist paradise and imagined he would find it in North Korea. When he landed in Pyongyang he tore up his tourist visa in celebration and declared he was seeking asylum. This was not a good idea.

The North Koreans were not amused. After a 90-minute show trial on Monday, a court in the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea declared Mr. Miller guilty of “hostile acts” against the government and sentenced him to six years at hard labor, which is likely to be pretty hard. The three presiding judges said they wouldn’t consider an appeal.

The North Korean gulag Mr. Miller will call home until the year 2020 does not offer much in the way of amenities. There won’t be weight rooms or cable television, as there would be in an American penitentiary. Mr. Miller can expect to become expert in breaking rocks on Monday and breaking them into smaller rocks on Tuesday, digging holes on Wednesday and filling them up again on Thursday. He won’t have to make license plates because nobody in North Korea has a car. The food is not likely to be very good, unless there’s a daily special on tree-bark soup. But if he keeps his lip buttoned, he probably can keep his head. Harsh they may be, but the North Koreans aren’t Islamists.

Defectors from the West have better options. Cuba is closer, with sun the year-round, and there’s often a chance to collect a Caribbean Sea breeze. There’s precedent. Havana was the destination of choice of Joanne Chesimard, the Black Panther, aka Assata Shakur, a convicted murderer and escapee.

Mr. Miller might share a jail cell with two other Americans held in North Korea. Jeffrey Fowle, 56, of Miamisburg, Ohio, is awaiting trial after leaving a Bible in a seaman’s club, and Kenneth Bae, 46, a Korean-American missionary, is in the second year of a 15-year sentence for “hostile acts to bring down the government.” God is not a welcome guest in Pyongyang.

Mr. Miller’s family wants the Obama administration to help spring him from prison, but the North Koreans are tough customers, and there are no North Koreans at Guantanamo Bay for President Obama to swap.

The Millers might appeal to former NBA star Dennis Rodman, who has a bizarre friendship with top man Kim Jong-un, who is a big basketball fan. He might agree to be a go-between. He could remind the supreme leader that imprisoning Mr. Miller (and the others) on trumped-up charges will only hurt North Korea’s fledgling efforts to market itself as an exotic vacation destination. He could offer the supreme leader tips on slam-dunking, though Kim Jong-un’s talent runs more to golf. He made six holes-in-one in his first time on the links, with an apology that he expected to do better once he got the hang of the game. And here’s a tip: “hang” is not a word to throw around loosely in Pyongyang.