ANALYSIS/OPINION:
I’m going to take you into the mind of a man. A man who has played fantasy football for all but one year of his adult life. A man who is clinging to what is left of his credibility. A man who desperately wants to make the playoffs.
I’m in four leagues. I have a combined 10 wins in three of them. That leaves me chasing a lone playoff spot in the fourth one. I enter Week 12 at 6-5, on a two-game winning streak thanks to the Eagles defense and Mike Evans, respectively. I’m in fifth place in a 12-team league. The top six make the playoffs.
My thought process in putting together this week’s lineup:
Quarterback (1): This is the only league in which I did not target a QB early. I grabbed Jay Cutler late in the seventh round and Philip Rivers early in the eighth. Rivers had been by far my best player for two months, but he’s put up back-to-back duds. He’s also facing a Rams team this week that just made Peyton Manning look like Robert Griffin III (honestly couldn’t think of anyone worse right now). So Cutler against the Bucs seems like the easy call. But as a Bears fan, I don’t want to a.) jinx him by starting him (totally irrational superstitous nonsense, but this is my mind and it works in mysterious ways), or b.) set myself up to be doubly disappointed when Cutler inevitably lets ME down and ruins MY weekend. WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME, JAY? WHY, JAY, WHY? Then again, I’m a glutton for punishment (Bears fan!), so I’ll stick with Cutler. What’s the worst that could happen?
Running back (2): Eddie Lacy is finally living up to his draft status, so he’s a no-brainer at RB1. My initial thought is to go with Joique Bell at RB2, but Reggie Bush is back this week to cut into his carries and Theo Riddick has been stealing his reception and touchdown thunder all year. My only other option is Knile Davis, a talented back who has a great matchup against the Raiders but is stuck behind Jamaal Charles.
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The other problem is that the game is Thursday, which means if I take a flier on Davis and it doesn’t work out, I have three extra days to question the direction of my life. The RB waiver wire is a wasteland, so that’s not an option. I’m normally risk-averse, so unless Charles gets hurt in practice Wednesday, I’ll likely stick with Bell and hope the Lions’ offense finally puts it all together against the Patriots.
Wide receiver (2): I was right about Evans. Feels good to write that. Of course, after three straight huge games, I assume the awful Bears defense will spite me and shut him down. My other starter is Julio Jones, who hasn’t caught a touchdown in two months. I can’t sit him, though. I’ll cross my fingers and hope he gets the best of Joe Haden.
Tight end (1): Travis Kelce is the only TE on my roster. Another one I got right. The Chiefs don’t throw to their wide receivers and I am uncharacteristically confident he’ll have a huge game against the Raiders (which means he’ll probably break both legs on a play in which he fumbles into the end zone and Knile Davis recovers for his third score of the game).
WR/TE (1): DeAndre Hopkins has been my most consistent flex receiver. Certainly better than Keenan Allen. I also have Michael Crabtree. Hopkins faces the Bengals. Crabtree faces the Redskins. Let’s think about this. What? Don’t think about it? I should start the guy facing the defense that gave up 209 yards to a rookie last week? OK, that seems reasonable. No reason to call me names.
Kicker (1): I want to win this league and bore people with stories about how picking up Greg Zeurlein off waivers proved to be a HUGE move.
Defense/special teams (1): The Eagles — coming off an emarrassing loss — against Zach Mettenberger and the Titans. Yes, please.
Week 11 Lineup Crime: Not starting Michael Floyd and his two TDs cost me a victory against my first-place brother and all but eliminated me from playoff contention in the league I started.
Week 12 Lineup Time: Josh Gordon returns for the Browns with a great matchup against the Falcons. There could be some rust, but Brian Hoyer loves to go deep. … This would be a good time for LeSean McCoy to show up and do his best LeVeon Bell impersonation. … The Lions will shut down Jonas Gray. … Josh McCown will find plenty of open receivers against his latest former team. … Monday night in a familiar dome, Steve Smith has one more big game left in him.
• Matt Pallister can be reached at mpallister@washingtontimes.com.
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