FREMONT, Neb. (AP) - For years, Shelly Knoell lived with a void.
One of six children, she and her siblings were separated and put into different foster homes. Her earliest childhood memory is of two brothers - Jimmy and Aaron - being removed from the foster home she was in and taken away.
“I used to have nightmares about it as I was growing up,” the Fremont woman said.
The Fremont Tribune reports (https://bit.ly/1orlPqQ ) that throughout the years, she lived with that grief and loss, always hoping she’d be reunited with all her siblings someday.
Now, her longtime dream is being fulfilled. With help from a Facebook group called, “Adoptees and Birth Parents Search,” Knoell has been able to connect with the last siblings she had yet to find. She plans to see one of her brothers, Jimmy, in May.
The reunion will be a happy destination for a journey that began years ago.
Knoell was born in Springfield, Ohio, and was a middle child.
“We were in and out of foster care a lot,” said Knoell, whose siblings are Cecil, Phillip, Eddie, Jimmy and Aaron Johnson.
Her childhood wasn’t pleasant. As an adult, Knoell said she understands that parents don’t always make right choices, but growing up without her siblings made it worse.
“I was pretty much heartbroken about them for a long time,” she said.
When Knoell was about 10, she even tried to write a letter to President Ronald Reagan, asking for help in finding her siblings.
She got a letter stating that the president was sorry for her loss, but couldn’t help.
Life changed for the better when Knoell was 14. That’s when she was adopted by the late Beverly Brainard. Knoell said she was excited to have a family.
Knoell graduated from Fremont High School in 1996. She worked at the former Shade Pasta plant in Fremont and did odd jobs. She worked at Valmont Industries for 11 years, before working at Oil Gear in Fremont.
Throughout the years, Knoell tried to find her brothers. She married and had children of her own, but the loss of her siblings never faded.
“Every time I would have a baby, that was loss there,” said Knoell, who wondered if her brothers were married or had children.
Knoell has been able to stay in contact with some siblings. Phillip grew up with her biological mom. She found Cecil after her biological mother’s death. Her adoptive mom had Eddie over for the holidays.
“She made sure I kept in touch with him and . once my (biological) mom moved back to Fremont, she (Brainard) also let me keep in contact with her,” Knoell said.
Yet Jimmy and Aaron’s whereabouts remained a mystery to her.
Then she joined Facebook a few years ago. Nancy Peuraharju from the Adoptees and Birth Parents Search became her “search angel.”
One day, Knoell’s 14-year-old daughter, Kristie, told her that she had a message.
Jimmy’s adoptive parents had been found. Knoell called his dad.
“I let him know I didn’t want to stir up their lives,” she said. “I know sometimes it’s hard. The parents have been his parents for so long. I didn’t know what (Jimmy) knew or if he knew he was adopted . or what they told him,” she said.
Knoell gave Jimmy’s dad her phone number. She later called him back to make sure she gave him the right phone number.
“I was nervous. I was crying and happy. It was almost like this feeling of dread was lifted,” she said.
Jimmy’s dad said he would call and let him know that she wanted to talk to him. Twenty minutes later she got a text on her phone.
“You know me by James Johnson,” the message said. “I’m your brother.”
During the next few days they talked via texting before visiting on the phone. James has four children. He also found Aaron about a year ago. Knoell hasn’t had a chance to talk with Aaron, but knows he has a daughter.
“The best part is just knowing they’re OK and they have each other,” she said. “I’m glad they’re OK and it sounds like Jimmy got to play baseball and football in school.”
She looks forward to seeing her brothers, who live in Ohio.
“I would have packed up my car and gone that day, but it doesn’t work like that,” she said.
In the meantime, the void is gone.
“It always felt like there was something missing and now I feel like a whole person again,” she said.
Knoell is grateful to Peuraharju for her work.
“It’s like there’s closure now,” she said. “And even if he (James) wouldn’t have called me back that day, it was OK knowing where he was and that they were OK.”
Knoell is now taking classes in health and human services at Metropolitan Community College and plans to become a social worker.
“I want to make a difference,” she said. “I want to help families.”
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Information from: Fremont Tribune, https://www.fremontneb.com
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