Inside the Beltway

NEWS AND OPINION:

SOMEBODY HAD TO ASK

What really happened to Osama bin Laden? A new Fox News poll of 910 registered voters revealS that 3 percent say bin Laden was “greeted by 72 virgins in heaven” upon his death. One percent of tea party supporters, 2 percent of Republicans, 3 percent of Democrats, 2 percent of conservatives, 3 percent of liberals and 5 percent of moderates agree with that notion.

But wait: 80 of voters say the terrorist leader “met a negative end.” That opinion was shared by 85 percent of tea party supporters, 89 percent of Republicans, 77 percent of Democrats, 86 percent of conservatives, 79 percent of liberals and 67 percent of moderates. Just so you know.

CITIZEN CAIN

Republicans will discover whether Herman Cain plans to run for president at high noon Saturday. The former talk-radio host and businessman will reveal his decision in big style with his announcement at Centennial Olympic Park in Atlanta.

“My business background and my problem-solving ability is what’s going to attract a lot of people,” says Mr. Cain, who has spent the past week in Iowa. “I am very proud that I have never held public office, because most of the people in Washington, D.C., have held public office. How’s that working out for us? It’s not. We have a mess on our hands.”

ABOUT THAT RAPTURE

“Will the world end on May 21st? No. It will not. In fact, I stake my personal reputation on it,” says Arizona psychic Blair Robertson, who has shared a few predictions about world events with Inside the Beltway in the past. “I predict that soon Harold Camping, the man who originated this idea, will experience his own ’end of days’ very suddenly, leaving behind many angry believers.”

CHENEY TOWN

Dick Cheney’s 544-page memoir “In My Time: A Personal and Political Memoir” already is ranked No. 2 on Amazon’s list of political books, seventh among memoirs and 39th overall. Of significance: The former vice president’s candid look at his four-decade career won’t be on book shelves until Aug. 30.

ENEMY PRESS

The Boston Herald, the San Francisco Chronicle and the Orlando Sentinel are now on the White House enemy press list, says talk-radio host and occasional Herald contributor Michael Graham, who contends that news organizations are chastised - reporters banned, credibility questioned - when their coverage of President Obama is less than sterling.

They’re not the first or last “to feel the wrath of ’President Richard Milhaus Obama,’ ” says Mr. Graham, who also questions the president’s idea that businesses should disclose their political donations if they want a government contract.

“If President George W. Bush had demanded political records before handing out contracts, liberals would have marched in the streets. If a single major-paper reporter had been booted from a Bush event over editorial policy, journalists would have organized a hunger strike,” Mr. Graham declares. “But Obama does all this and more, and liberals are silent. Why? Because Barack Obama is the Nixon the Left always wanted.”

WHY YOU’RE TIRED

“This ’Age of Obama’ is exhausting. Ever since President Obama stepped onto the stage at the Democratic National Convention in 2004, it’s as if we’ve all been stuck as bit players in the ’Obama Show,’ which has now become very tiresome in its seventh season. Everything all the time invariably is interpreted through this framework: What does this mean for Obama? What will Obama do about it? What does Obama think about it? How does Obama feel today? Is he happy?” says Weekly Standard staff writer Jay Cost.

“Those of you who have studied up on the Constitution know full well that Congress, not the presidency, dominates the first article of our foundational document. The president’s much smaller role is outlined in Article 2. We give the president a simple, republican title: ’Mr. President.’ Nobody kneels before him when he walks into a room,” Mr. Cost says, later adding, “Somebody seriously needs to tell the New York Times, and all of Obama’s fans in the mainstream media, this fact.”

CDC ZOMBIES

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is prepared. For anything. Bird flu, bioterrorism - and the walking dead. To augment the CDC’s official emergency guide, here is the federal agency’s formal plan, posted on the official website, should the undead get cranky:

“If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control, including isolation and quarantine. … Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas.”

POLL DU JOUR

55 percent of Americans give a negative rating to President Obama’s job performance.

88 percent of Republicans, 84 percent of conservatives, 24 percent of Democrats and 23 percent of liberals agree.

45 percent overall give Mr. Obama a positive job review.

12 percent of Republicans, 16 percent of conservatives, 76 percent of Democrats and 77 percent of liberals agree.

46 percent overall would “likely” vote for the president if the election were held today.

13 percent of Republicans, 15 percent of conservatives, 73 percent of Democrats and 80 percent of liberals agree.

12 percent overall give Congress a positive job review; 9 percent of Republicans, 17 percent of Democrats and 11 percent of independents agree.

Source: A Harris Poll of 2,184 adults conducted May 9 to 16.

Tipline always open at jharper@washingtontimes.com. Follow the column at twitter.com/harperbulletin.