DEBORAH SIMMONS: Fun during the blizzard? Bet on it

ANALYSIS/OPINION:

Wimps don’t want kids to play dodgeball any more, and schools say snowball fights are a no-no.

But thanks to the Washington D.C. Snowball Fight Association, you’ll be able to release your pent-up anxieties at the group’s “Sunday morning rumble in Dupont [Circle]” in Northwest.

The fun was in America’s bloodstream, with two Civil War brigades tossing snowballs in the Rappahannock Valley in Northern Virginia in January 1864. Soon, more than 9,000 soldiers were involved in the brawl.

Our upcoming blizzard, which could dump 2 feet of snow, is supposed to have passed our region by then, so conditions and interest following the 36-hour coop-up should be ripe.

Afterward on Sunday, help out a neighbor or two or three as a volunteer shoveler. We’re duty-bound to help the elderly, after all, and the Snowball Association is on the same page, encouraging like-minded folk to pitch in on snow shoveling on Sunday as they “work with Serve DC,” the city’s volunteerism arm, to spread the word.

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SEE ALSO: Metro to stop all train, bus service during weekend blizzard

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Or you volunteer the old fashioned way, and check in with neighbors. So, c’mon guys. Volunteer.

Then go home and get the fireplace roaring, tap the tap and settle in for six or seven hours of good ol’ fashioned, knock ’em, rock ’em NFL playoffs.

I’m so looking forward to Peyton and the Patriots, and Carson taking on Cam and the Panthers that I’m nearly giddy.

Tom Brady and New England owe Denver and the Manning boys a comeuppance on the AFC side. Both teams’ QBs are Hall of Fame shoo-ins, and I hope that every down on Sunday afternoon in Colorado they remind us why.

The game of the weekend, though, is going to be in Carolina, where the Newton Gang takes on old man Carson Palmer, 36. I’m rooting for Carolina, which is in my DNA and because head coach Ron Rivera went to school in D.C. and Maryland, and he married a D.C. gal. Stephanie Rivera is a basketball wizard — pun intended — as a former assistant coach of the Washington Mystics. They met on a basketball court (love it!), and she’s respectfully called “The coach behind the coach.” Go Panthers.

Hard-core DMV news

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SEE ALSO: D.C., Maryland, Virginia declare states of emergency as blizzard approaches East Coast

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Now it’s time for more serious news from D.C., Maryland and Virginia, or DMV in shorthand, as I offer a few DMV-centric tidbits as we, sigh, await and wade out the snowstorm of a lifetime that has D.C. as its bullseye.

Ooh, ooh! And a historic snowpology that has Mother Nature and Ol’ Man Winter belly-laughing.

First things first: Metrorail, Metrobus and MetroAccess are shutting down Friday and will remain out of service thru Sunday. Repeat: There will be no Metrorail, Metrobus or MetroAccess service on Saturday or Sunday.

The repeat is necessary because the temptation to hop on Metro instead of driving might have become Plan B after motorists and transit riders were concussed by the, ahem, inch or so of snow that began blowing in early Wednesday.

Regional authorities blew it earlier this week, when they all bloviated about how they planned to handle the upcoming weekend blizzard. So fixated were they, until evening rush-hour lasted seven or eight hours longer than usual. (Guess they still think the Beltway wraps up at 7 p.m.)

But the forecasters — our local weather forecasters — had warned that a clipper storm was headed our way. Authorities kissed off the here-and-now, while their bureaucratic choirs sang about getting ready for the weekend. So they fed the public a bunch of numerical personnel and equipment jargon, and pontificated on how they were going to trip up Ol’ Man Winter and queen diva Mother Nature.

Well, there was Mayor Muriel Bowser on national radio and TV news on Thursday morning, issuing her snowpology. “We are very sorry for [our] inadequate response. We should have been out earlier with more resources.”

Thanks, Miss Bowser. We accept, because you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

As for you, Dear Readers, don’t drive unless you must and if you do, please drive carefully.

• Deborah Simmons can be reached at dsimmons@washingtontimes.com.